Chapter 13 - "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" - 12th September 2012.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try to get something (or someone) out of your head, they always manage to creep back in somehow ...

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Chapter 13 - "Can't Get You Out Of My Head".

Its Wednesday now, meaning I am one day closer to my date with Rocky, but still 2 more days to wait! In some ways I had almost started to wish that we had gone out that evening that he had asked me. It’s not like I am not looking forward to it, as I am, its just all this suspense was killing me inside as every day of waiting felt as it if were a week long.

OK, enough is enough, I am going to put the whole thing out of my mind until Friday! Yes, that’s it, I am not going to think about Rocky, or our date until then …. Right … yeah ok, that may be a little easier said than done, but I was determined that I was not going to let my flighty romanticisms turn me in to a blushing mute again, like it had done with Calamity yesterday.

I was still trying to talk my self into it during a little stroll around the ground floor off the house when I heard a “HONK HONK” noise in front of me. As I glanced up I saw a rather pink, and quite large looking doll car hurtling towards me at breakneck speed!

As I did a double take I realised that it was none other than my good friends Jem & Rio inside the vehicle. They were looking straight at me and stuck their arms out of the windows to wave as they drew nearer.

I decided that I had better get out of the way of the oncoming car, just in case, as I was in no mood to be run over today, especially as I had so much else on my mind, that I wanted off my mind at the minute. Oh my word what was I thinking ? I don’t think there is ever really a good day to get run over!

Anyway, as the car approached I saw Millie with her head poked right out the window screaming “Wheeeee” as the car advanced. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, at that precise moment she reminded me so much of Calam and her “Yeee Hawww” screams whilst riding Dallas.

As the car pulled alongside me Jem stuck her head out the window to greet me.

“Hiya Ella, what to you think of our new wheels then?”

“Oh its lovely” I replied, I could not really think of much else to say about it at that point but could clearly see that they were over the moon.

“Holly found it in the loft, it was bought ages ago at a carboot sale for only a £1, but had been stuck up in the roof ever since then. When she dug it out she thought of Rio & I … so here it is” Jem smiled, I knew that cars were not her thing but I think she was excited seeing Rio so happy about their new vehicle, and I was genuinely pleased for my friends.

I was just about to ask Jem where they were off to on their test drive? when the side door on the van slid sideways and Rocky started to climb out. I had honestly not noticed that he was in there and so jumped back with quite a start, for some reason it instantly took me back to when I had made Rocky jump and he had hit his head on that Jeep a couple of days ago, its kinda funny that we keep doing that to each other.

“Hey Ella, hows things?” he said beaming away at me. This was the first time that I had seen him since the events of Monday and so I felt a slight blush starting to come over my face, whilst butterflies felt like they were starting a rather energetic dance routine inside my stomach.

“Fine thanks Rocky” I responded in a slightly shy soft tone, I was unable to hide my happiness at seeing him, and nor did I feel the need to, as my smile grew the more I looked at him.

“So what have you been up to recently ?” Rocky enquired, standing right next door to me “I haven’t seen you around much in the last couple of days” He sounded almost as if he was disappointed that he had not seen me since Monday and that gave me a warm joyful feeling inside and made my grin start to get even bigger. I looked slightly away to try and hide my smile as I did not want him thinking that I was happy about the fact that I had not seen him much.

“Oh, I’ve been around” I replied a little over enthusiastically, I then suddenly felt the uncontrollable need to justify where I had been “I went to visit Calamity yesterday, so was out in the conservatory … that’s probably why you missed me, I mean didn’t see me, not that you missed me, coz .. oh … errr” Oh my word what was I saying? he hadn’t actually said that he had missed me and yet it now looked like I was trying to put words in his mouth! Stop talking Ella, Stop talking now!!

Rocky bit his lip and looked like he was trying so hard not to laugh at my rambling outburst.

Even though I could tell that Rocky wasn’t really laughing at me, I could not look at him until I had composed myself, so after a moment of standing there like a complete lemon my salvation came when I realised that I had not said “Hello” to the other dolls in the car.

I lent down smiled at them, hoping beyond all hopes that they had not heard the conversation that had just taken place between Rocky and I. Jackson looked his usual sombre self, but it was nice to see that he was joining in, and Millie was just as bouncy and excitable as normal.

After the greetings were over with Millie looked like she was about to burst as she started almost jumping on her seat with excitement as she blurted.

“Come on Ella hop in, you have to come for a ride with us, come on Ella, it’ll be fun” She sounded like some kind of wind up toy that just kept saying the same thing over and over and would not stop.

I could see how crammed in they all were, infact it reminded me of a sardine tin, and knowing that the only seat left was the one that Rocky had jumped out of, it was plain to see that there was not going to be enough room inside for everyone.

“Maybe next time” I smiled back at them all “you lot have fun though”.

At that precise moment Rocky butted into the conversation.

“You take my seat Ella, I’ll stay behind” he was gallantly trying to come to my rescue, but I knew how much cars meant to Rocky, I was not going to let him miss out on this adventure, especially when it was with his best mate, Rio.

“I’m fine Rocky honestly, you go” I replied, hoping that he would drop it, but knowing deep down inside that he wasn’t going to.

“Ella, I insist” he was starting to sound a little more forceful

Knowing that I was going to have to try and fight fire with fire to actually get him to go, as I knew he did really want to, but was just too much of a gentleman to leave a Lady behind, I responded with a much more stern tone.

“No, I insist, please … you go and have fun”.

I started to feel that we were going to be at this for a while, when all of a sudden Jem appeared out of the side door of the van.

“Look you two” she said with a rather authoritative voice “I will stay here with Ella. Rocky, you can take the front seat as I think Rio is going to burst if he doesn’t get going soon … Right, everybody happy, good, now get going”

Rocky and I quietly stared in disbelief, but neither of us dare say anything, I mean how could we argue with that ?

Rocky hopped into the front seat and no sooner as the side door was closed, Rio sped away in his new toy.

Jem and I waved them off, I think in a way she knew that they were going to have much more fun without her, as just the guys, well, and Millie too, but she was just as bad as they were sometimes.

As Jem and I walked away I glanced back at them tearing around the corner and thought of how much Rocky would be enjoying the drive. It was then that I knew I had done the right thing in insisting that he went.

“So, are you looking forward to Friday yet ? Or are you still going to pieces about it inside?” Said Jem, it seemed rather a bold statement/question for her to make, but was obvious that Calam must have mentioned something to her about my reaction to the mere mention of my upcoming date, yesterday.

“I am excited about it, really I am” I was amazed that I had actually managed to respond to such a direct and prying question as I continued “Its just, its just … well, I am sort of really nervous about it … but soooo looking forward to it at the same time. If that makes any sense?”

“Ella, its natural to be a bit nervous, but honestly whats the worst that could happen?” she replied in a caring almost motherly tone.

“You mean apart from me rambling on saying something stupid so that he thinks I am a complete idiot? Or even worse, feeling so shy that I turn into a blithering mute and spend the entire evening saying nothing?”

“Oh Ella!” giggled Jem in response “You just need to calm down and be yourself. Rocky is crazy about you, anyone can see that, Rio says he has not stopped talking about you since your arrival”

Oh great no pressure then, thanks Jem!! was the first thought that popped into my head, although, it was kind of sweet to know that about Rocky. I decided it was best not to tell her my thought blurt, and instead simply said rather worriedly.

“But what if I don’t live up to his expectations? What if we have nothing in common or to talk about when we are alone together?”

Jem looked at me caringly as she gently replied “Look, you are over thinking this whole thing way too much, just be yourself, stop worrying, and let whatever is going to happen on the day happen”

I could see her point, and already knew that I had been letting my imagination run away with itself too much. I was just about to say something but then she suddenly added.

“And its not like you two had any problems at the picnic, did you?”

“Yeah but that wasn’t a date …. Was it ?” I replied, suddenly feeling quite startled and clueless.

Jem looked at me rather shocked and the realisation suddenly clicked in my mind. The picnic was a date! … it was a double date!! Oh my gosh, I felt like such an idiot, how could I not have realised it ? It was so obvious now looking back, just the 4 of us, without Calamity and the others, the romantic location, Rio’s teasing, everything! I am sooo naïve, what am I like ? All this time I had been making such a big deal about Friday being my first date, when technically I had already been on it without even knowing it at the time.

Upon seeing my shocked reaction, Jem felt the need to explain what apparently should already have been obvious to me.

“Rocky was tearing himself up inside, trying to get up the courage to ask you out, It was getting painful to watch. So Rio and I suggested the picnic as a way to ease the tension, so neither of you would feel the pressure of it being just the two of you, and you could get to know one another a bit better without EVERYONE else watching and listening in …. I’m sorry Ella, I thought you knew what it was”.

Once I had gotten over the shock of it all a bit, I realised that Jem had infact done me a big favour, I had been on my first date without any apprehension or worry beforehand, and thinking back to the lovely time that Rocky and I had had together at the picnic, it came to me that we could talk to each other without feeling odd, and we did (well I at least did) enjoy spending time together. It was a great weight off my mind and suddenly felt all the anxiety melt away and was just left with warm fuzzy excited feeling about this coming Friday.

When I explained everything to Jem, she smiled at me in an “aww you are far too innocent Ella” sort of way, but seemed pleased that our chat had not only cleared things up but also helped me out.

“Well then, what are you planning to wear for the big occasion then ?” she asked teasingly. She could tell by my reaction that once again, I hadn’t got a clue “Don’t worry, I’ll help you out” she continued smiling at me in such a friendly playful manor.

“What would I do without you Jem ?” I replied gratefully

“I know, I know” she said jokingly as we continued on our way.

Chapter 12 - "More Than A Woman" - September 11th 2012.

Whilst visiting my cowgirl pal, Calamity, I discover a little more about her past history.  However, when our intimate chat switches it's focus onto MY personal life instead, somehow I find it a tad harder to open up and talk myself ...

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You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/_fSeFKpyOxs

Chapter 12 - "More Than A Woman".

I was still feeling in a bit of a dream world the day after Rocky had asked me out. I could not help it, I was thinking about our little chat and trying to imagine what Friday night was going to be like every waking hour, well lets be honest here, I am pretty much convinced that I had dreamed about him last night aswell. The only trouble was that today is only Tuesday, so there are still 3 whole days left !! … 3 whole days, that sounded like an eternity to me, what one earth was I going to do with myself until then ?

I knew that I was getting far too carried away with the whole thing, and if I continued to build it up in my mind like this it was never going to reach my lofty expectations that my over-imaginative brain had started to conjure. I needed bringing back down to earth and there was only one person that I could think of who could help me with that, and that was Calamity. She was the most grounded doll I had met since I had arrived at Holly’s home, well probably apart from Rocky, but its not like talking to him was going to be much help in this situation was it ?

And so I ventured out into the conservatory hoping to find her there, as I knew that’s where she kept her wigwam house.

Calam spotted me crossing the room coming towards her and immediately started to wave as she yelled in her usual fun loving manor

“Heya Ella .. what yous be doin ouwt in theyse ere parts?”

I was overjoyed by my friends cheery greeting, and just knew that spending some time with her was sure to help me forget about all my over active imaginings.

I waved back to her but had to wait until I was a bit closer before responding to her enquiry, I did not quite have such a booming voice like Calamity did, she had a resonance that could carry across and entire room, which for a 12” doll is no mean feat.

“I thought it was about time I payed you a visit at home Calam, now that I know where you live” I said, hoping that it had not been too long since she had asked to wonder why I was answering that question.

“Weyll thayts mighty nice of ya Ella … mighty nice indeeyd” I could see she was a little moved by my visit, and I started to wonder if perhaps she didn’t really get many of the dolls coming to see her that often ?

“They’s nowt much to it, but makes yourseylf at howme” she grinned and invited me to sit with her at the entrance to her makeshift house.

I was curious about the wigwam and her cowgirl way of life and decided to ask if her interest in such things was just because she was made as a cowboy style doll or if there was another reason ?

“Weyll Ella, thayts kinda a lowng stowry” she started, I could tell by the look on her face and general demeanour that this was a subject dear to her heart and was greatly enthralled to hear more about her tale.

“It awll started abouwt, ooh must be amost 30 year ago now. It were the 80’s an Holly were jus a itty bitty owld thiyng, no more an knee high to a grass howppa …”

As Calam continued I found out that she had been a birthday present to Holly when she was very young, she was also given Dallas and a matching Jeep and Horse trailer at the same time. Holly had loved playing with them and spent endless hours with Calamity either riding on her beloved horse or driving the jeep around, of course not forgetting to tow Dallas in her trailer box when driving. It was clear that she missed that jeep, Holly still had the horse box but for some reason the jeep, just like Rockys VW Golf convertible car, had gone missing at some point throughout Holly’s childhood. I couldn’t help bust wonder why all those doll cars had gone missing? But that was getting me side tracked.

“Couwrse, when ma bowdy broke thayt was te eynd of bein able to ride Dallas prowperly” she continued. This abrupt statement sort of took me by surprise as I had seen Calam on her horse many times and as far as I could see her body seemed to look, well for better use of a word, look unbroken.

“Broke?!” I blurted is a startled tone “I didn’t know you were broken Calam ?”

“I’m nowt now am I” she replied, looking as though she had found my comment rather amusing “But thayt first body a mine done snaypped, so I had to hayve a body traynsplant, like many a Holly’s chiyldhood dowlls did” Did I hear that right? Did she really say body transplant ???!! “the riginal one were unmeyndable, such a shayme too as it had prowper leygs that were designed to sit astriyde a howrse, and haynds that could grip ontos reins” she shook her head, slightly sorrowful as she thought about it.

By this point I was far to distracted and rather disturbed about the idea of a body transplant that I was not really paying much attention to what else Calam had been saying. I decided to ask her about it as it probably was not as bad as it sounded and if I didn’t find out the truth I imagined having nightmares about it. Calamity explained that when dolls get played with a lot by children, especially very young children, they are much more prone to getting damaged and so the dolls got repaired with parts from other dolls. Infact, as it turned out supposedly most of Holly’s childhood dolls did not have their original bodies, they had been swapped around so many times that no-one knew who’s was who anymore.

“Does it … hurt” I meekly enquired.

“Heyll no, ya downt feel a thiyng” she chuckled “downt worry Ella, Holly’s nowt a child nomore, sbeen years, prowbly decades, siynce theys been any breakages … I thinks youwll be safe for now hehehe” Calam nudged her elbow at me and winked as she was saying this, I think she was trying to make me feel better about worrying about something so silly and unlikely.

“Anyways, I’s getting ahead o myseylf” she continued “Now, ther reason Holly was bourght me an Dallas was so she could play af her browther an hiys Lone Ranger Cowboy dowlls” suddenly Calam’s face did not look quite so cheerful, her expression went much more dreamy and her eyes glazed over in a stare as she looked off into the distance and remembered.

She told me all about the Lone Ranger dolls that were much older than she was as they dated back to the early 70’s. There were several cowboy dolls, a few native American types, the obligatory bad guy doll, also many horses and cowboy props including a campfire, and a lovely sounding wagon that had a real fabric top to it. As she talked Calamity sounded as though she was describing what her idea of heaven was.

Then her face started to fill with sorrow as she talked about one particular cowboy doll, he was a duplicate doll that they had of the titular character from the range “The Lone Ranger” and he was someone clearly very special to Calam

“Hiys name were Reid, an thiys is all I hayve left te remeymber hiym by” she whispered as she pulled out a small toy cowboy gun from her belt. I hadn’t really ever noticed before that she was carrying it, but then it was probably not the sort of thing she wanted to draw attention to.

Calamity gently placed the gun in her lap as Dallas’s head popped down, as if she had instinctively known that her mistress was feeling sad.

“Weyll I stiyll gowt you, hayven’t I ole girl” she said, softly petting her trusty steed in condolence.

I know it probably wasn’t appropriate but I had to know so I asked Calam what had happened to Reid ? I was wondering if he had suffered the same fate as Jackson lost love ?

“Owe snothin liyke thayt” she responded “all em Lone Ranger dowlls went with Holly’s brother, so when she moved ouwt an, he moved ouwt, I dunno what happened really … we jus neyver saw each owther agin”

My heart went out to her, she had lost the love of her life, but seemed such a strong and independent doll. And then I compared her to Jackson, they both had suffered heart brake but whilst he had let it consume him, Calamity had never let it change her one little bit. I admired her all the more, and wondered if I would be capable of such grace and dignity in the same situation ?

I think the conversation had turned a little too serious and sorrowful for Calam’s taste so she suddenly turned to me with a big sneaky grin on her face, leaned over and slapped me on the back playfully with a rather abrupt change of subject.

“So, I hears thayt someone hays a dayte with a certain tall dark an hayndsome Ken dowll, thiys Friday a comin!?!”

I was startled by her statement and, felt my face start to blush as she looked at me intently, waiting for some kind of response. But I had none to give at that moment, as I tried to think I started to wonder how on earth she had found out? as Rocky and I had been completely alone during out intimate conversation yesterday. And then I also realised something else, I had not thought about Rocky the entire time that I had been with Calam, well up until now that is, so on a side thought, at least coming to visit her had done the job in bringing me back to reality.

But now he was in my head again, and I really did not know what to say ?

I could not even make eye contact with Calamity as I looked down shyly and nervously fiddled with the folds of my dress. I knew that I should say something, after all Calam had been so open an honest about her feelings when talking to me just a few moments ago and yet I clammed up and couldn’t find a word to say to her. For some reason that made things even worse as I then started to feel guilty, and the longer the silence went on the more I was unable to speak.

Calamity seemed to have taken pity on me, seeing what a state I was in, but still could not resist adding.

“Gowsh amighty Ella, I’s thiynk you two’s as be as thiyck as mollases” The lilt of her voice made that statement sound rather teasing, but knowing Calam as I do, I really don’t think she meant it that way. Sensing my ever growing discomfort she finished with “Theys nowthin to worry abouwt, yous two ‘ll hayve a sweyll tiyme I’s sure”.

Feeling the need for another change of subject Calamity promptly sprang to her feet and grabbed Dallas exclaiming “I thinyks its tiyme for a riyde, blow ouwt the ole cowbwebs an all!”

I glanced over to her, still feeling tense about my shyness and inability to talk when questioned about Rocky, but I could just tell that Calam knew to drop it. She was so good to me, I had been nosey and prying about her past and love life, and she had acted with composure and grace. I on the other hand fell to pieces at the mere mention of my love interest, and not only acted, lets face it, a little child like, but also rude as I never even managed to answer or acknowledge her during that one sided discussion. I felt a little ashamed of myself and realised that I had a lot to learn when it come to dealing with talking about my personal feelings.

Calamity hopped up onto Dallas’s back and I stood up and stroked her mane and petted her head

“Would ya liyke to come alowng Ella?” asked Calam gently.

Part of me wanted to say yes but I didn’t want to put a downer on her positive spirit, and I felt like I needed time to compose myself before I was able to face the other dolls inside.

“I’ll be fine here Calam really, if that’s ok with you?” I replied with a croak and squeakyness to my voice that almost made me sound like Millie! “I’ll just hang around here for a little bit and then make my own way back to the house”

“Okey dokey” she replied, and with that Dallas galloped away.

I could see how happy the two of them were whilst dashing away at breakneck speed together, they began so quickly that Calamity’s hat flew off the back of her head, lucky she had a string around her neck to hold it on! I could hear her belting out “Yeeee hawww” even from across the room as they continued.

In a way, I realised that Calam is sort of my hero, she is exactly the sort of kind, brave, adventurous, friendly, passionate, funny, thoughtful and deep person that I would like to be, it seemed that whatever situation life threw at her she could handle it with the poise of a Lady and the heart of a lion. I hoped that if I could grow to be even half the doll that she was then that would be a wonderful thing to aspire to.

Chapter 11 - "Ooh La La !" - 10th September 2012.

I got a little more than I bargained for when visiting Rocky today, including a rather nice eyeful of his muscular physique !! ... Ooh la la indeed !! ...

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You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/LNslS26AVjA

Chapter 11 - "Ooh La La !".

I spent a large portion of the weekend worrying and wondering. First of all I was worried if had really upset Rocky during Movie Night on Friday, and secondly I was wondering what on earth it was that he was trying to say to me before Calamity’s untimely interruption just before the film started? He had seemed so flustered and unable to get his words out properly that I knew it must be something that was important, well important to him at least. And after I accidently told him that he was disturbing me during the movie, which was basically about as tactful as telling him to “shush” or “be quiet”, I really started to worry. I mean, what I had not considered at the time was what if he had tried to talk to me during the film because he wanted to continue the, whatever it is, important discussion? Perhaps the poor guy was so worried about it that he was unable to wait to finish what he was saying, after all, I didn’t really give him much of a chance to find out why when he was whispering to me behind Calamity, did I ?

I felt awful, I wanted to talk to Rocky about the events of Friday evening on Saturday, but I was weighed down by so much guilt that I lost my nerve and could not face him. On Sunday I tried to find him, but I think he may have been avoiding me as I couldn’t see him anywhere I looked. All that did was make me feel even worse, if he was avoiding me it had to be because of what I had done!

I couldn’t take it any more and so today I decided enough with being silly about it, I was just going to go up to him and talk to him and see what happened from there. After asking Rio, he sent me in the direction of the kitchen where he said Rocky was most likely working on one of the doll cars, and that is exactly where I found him, underneath a propped up Barbie jeep.

I gingerly approached him, still not really sure of what I was going to say, at one point I nearly lost my nerve and started to walk away, but then I realised that was not fair to him and so crept back across the room hoping that he had not seen me flustering around, I tried to sound a bit casual whilst feeling very sheepish as I said

“Hi Rocky”

I must have startled him as I had not even finished the “Hi” bit before I heard a loud bang noise and his head hit the underside of the car that he was laying under! Oh dear, this was really not a good start, maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t have done this now but it was not like I had a choice now that he knew I was there.

“Arrrrwww” he groaned and clutched his forehead for a second “Ella? … god, you made me jump” he exclaimed, I was surprised that he did not sound at all cross in his voice, although it could have been that he was too stunned to really know what was going on.

“I’m sorry, I … I … I didn’t think … sorry” I replied not really knowing what on earth I should say after I had made such a clumsy mistake.

“No worries” he said “I don’t normally get visitors while I’m working, so you kinda took me by surprise”

There was a long silence next, I knew it was probably my turn to say something but I was feeling so stupid that I just stood there like an idiot.

“Can you hand me that fork, please Ella?” he asked, I was just glad that one of us had enough sense to break the silence.

I sat down and passed the tool over to him and continued to sit and watch as he worked. I had found myself in a bit of a pickle, I hadn’t got a clue how to talk to him about the events of Movie Night after making such a fool of myself but, its not like I could just say “Bye then” and walk off. I was kind of stuck.

As I watched Rocky work away underneath the car I got a little fascinated by what he was up to, infact I found it so distracting that I did start to forget about my silly behaviour at the start of my visit.

I lay down to get a better look at what was happening and even managed to get out a few words

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked hoping that perhaps I could redeem myself.

“No, that's ok Ella, I’ve nearly got it sorted” he replied, sounding a little strained in his voice as he worked.

“Aha got it” he joyfully stated. “that should do for the moment, it was probably time for a break anyway” he continued and promptly slid out from under the car.

He was grinning like a cheshire cat as usual but again I just sat there not knowing what to say …

It was only when he stood up that I realised what I had found so distracting, he wasn’t wearing a top, infact he was, to all intensive purposes, naked from the waist up!! I was quite startled and felt my mouth slightly gape as I stared at him. I had never seen a male doll with no clothes before, and suddenly felt a rush of embarrassment come over me, as my face flushed pink, and I suddenly felt rather warm and flustered.

I did not like to admit it to myself, but I found this look on him rather attractive, so down to earth and natural, so handsome, sooo ….. I could feel myself starting to swoon and so felt even more self conscious and my face felt even redder.

“Sooo, what can I help you with then?” Rocky asked, he sounded so much more playful than when he had been under the car and I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was very curious about my visit.

I tried to compose myself, but I still found his present state of dress very distracting. He was looking at me patiently waiting for a response, but I could barely remember what he had asked, as my mind was more focused on the shapes of the muscles down his torso.

In the end I gave myself a mental slap around the face to try and knock me out of it, and finally managed to speak

“I just wanted to come and apologise” I blurted, he looked at me blankly and clearly had not got a clue what I was talking about. “about Friday night” I continued starting to feel awkward again. “You know, .. Movie ... Night …. When I said you were disturbing me during the film”

He looked a little surprised by my declaration. and I could feel a lump starting to build in my throat, as I felt the need to expand on my apology

“It was very rude of me, and I don’t know what I was thinking, it just sort of popped out of my mouth before I even realised it, and I really didn’t mean to have a go like that, and I’m really sorry and ..” I was rambling incoherently, talking so fast without even stopping, as I was a little scared to stop, as that would mean I would actually have to find out what he thought about it ? and if he did infact accept my rather feeble attempt at saying sorry?

Before I could actually finish what I was waffling on about, Rocky interrupted me rather forcefully with

“Ella … stop” he had a concerned and yet caring look on his face as he came closer to me “you don’t need to say anything, you didn’t do anything wrong … I’m not offended”

I felt rather self conscious again, and a bit confused, I wondered if he was just being a gentleman and letting me off the hook? I could hardly even look him in the eyes as we stood there.

“But I …” I tried to say but was cut off almost straight away with his reply

“No buts, you were honest, and said what you were thinking at the time, I respect that” I could feel him getting ever closer to me as he continued and softly said “Besides, I was the one being a jerk. Who was disturbing you in the first place? its me who should be apologising!”

I was very touched by his comments and couldn’t help but smile, although I still think he was just being chivalrous.

As we stood there right beside one another, I was hoping for a change of conversation, but could not for the life of me think of anything else to say. It was while we were looking at each other that I started to get the idea, and could almost tell that Rocky was building up to something ... and I was about to find out what.

“Ella, theres something I have been meaning to talk to you about for a while now” he started, this sounded like a continuation of the talk he had started on Movie Night before Calam intervened. Although this time there was none of the awkward word fumbling, he seemed more sure of himself and I could hear the confidence ring in his voice.

“I was wondering, If maybe you would like to do something with me one evening? just the two of us?”.

I couldn’t quite believe this was REALLY happening and suddenly felt very shy, I coyly looked to the ground as my face reddened again, and I was trying to hide the big smile that had come over it. Unfortunately I think that he misinterpreted my reaction, and sort of backed away from me to give me a bit of space.

“Or not” he continued, sounding a little more unsure of himself “It’s .. totally up to you Ella, really … I don’t mind either way”

Rocky always seemed like such a gentleman, and never wanted to be the cause of any discomfort to anyone, although in this case it was not discomfort that I was feeling. I was shy and unsure of myself, and did not really know how I was supposed to react when faced with such a proposal?

I still could not look at him, but managed to finally reply

“That sounds a really lovely idea Rocky” I softly said, still feeling very self conscious, but also excited at the same time, as my pulse had started to race, “I’d love to” I finished. I glanced up at him for a brief moment and I think he had finally noticed the smile that I could not contain on my face, and he instantly started grinning from ear to ear.

“How about this Friday?” he enquired, almost unable to contain his joy.

“ok” I whispered in response, and again glanced in his direction, all I could see was one massive grin engulfing his entire face, it was clear that he was over the moon about the whole thing.

I still felt a bit awkward though and was not really sure what to do next, and so I decided that it was probably best to let Rocky get back to his work on the Jeep. Also to give myself a bit of time to process all of what had just happened.

As I bid him farewell he simply replied “until Friday, then” his eyes sparkled as he spoke and I could feel my face was still blushing from the events of this entire visit, for some reason the pinker my face went the more he smiled at me.

As I wandered away, I felt as if I were walking on air, I started humming to myself and swaying from side to side, at one point I think I even started skipping. It was a strange feeling, like an explosion of happiness inside my head, everything seemed rather day dreamy for the rest of the day and I couldn’t manage to concentrate on anything for more than a few moments without replaying our conversation in my head.

Was I making too much of it all ?? Perhaps, but after all, this was the going to be my very first date so I was going to make the most of it! ……. Although …. I suddenly had a rather disturbing thought, I hadn’t got a clue what I was doing! And I have no idea what to expect! I now felt anxious at how unprepared I was for such a potentially massive life altering event … what should I do ??

I tried to kick those thoughts out of my mind and it didn’t take long before the floaty/dreamy feeling returned, but there was still that little niggle in the back of my my mind that I just couldn’t shake.

Chapter 10 - "Tongue Tied !" - 7th September 2012.

Everyone is excited about movie night, but why is Rocky looking all nervous and on edge thie evening ?  And more to the point, what is he trying to tell me ? ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151027865051922.35132.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/gIe916nKl3w

Chapter 10 - "Tongue Tied !".

Tonight was ‘Movie Night’, supposedly every now and again when Holly is not using the big tv of an evening a few of the dolls get together to watch a film. This was my first time and I have to say that I was a little excited by it. We extended half of the reclining sofa to get us closer to the screen and gradually the dolls started gathering, in great anticipation of what tonight’s movie might be ?

I had sat myself next door to my good friends Jem & Rio, Jem was becoming very dear to me and had been so kind, supportive and warm in my brief time with the group that she almost felt like the sister I never had! Ok, I know I do have a sister, several infact, but this was different, display dolls and play dolls don’t really spend much, if any, time together and I had not seen either of my sisters in quite a while. Jem however, I had seen almost every day since we first met, we had such a strong bond that for a brief moment I almost wished that I were a Jem doll so that I could really be her sister.

As my adopted sister and I chatted quietly, Rocky arrived and sat himself down next door to me. Rio immediately leaned forward to greet him across us, with a smile and a friendly nod of the head, followed by a rather teasing wink and eyebrow wiggle. I did not see Rocky’s response as I was looking the other way but whatever it was it made Rio smirk and glance in my direction. It got me starting to wonder what the big joke was between these two ? And what did it have to do with me ? I really wanted to ask Jem about it but decided that maybe now was not the best time with everyone else listening in so we continued our chat about Movie Night and I tried to put their odd behaviour out of my head for the moment.

Our conversation turned to the subject of what movie we would be treated to tonight and I was quite fascinated to learn that a different doll picked the film each time and tonights choice would be made by Calamity.

As I was asking Jem what kind of Movies did our favourite cowgirl like? I was interrupted by Rocky

“We already know what she’s going to pick” he proclaimed, sounding rather confident in his voice.

“Oh?” I replied, my interest suddenly piqued by his self assured statement.

“Come on, its Calam we’re talking about here” I found his reply to be somewhat confusing, after all I had never been to movie night before so how was I supposed to know what kind of films Calamity was partial to?

He must have seen by the look on my face that I neither understood nor was convinced by his comment and so he elaborated.

“She’s a Cowgirl doll, she’ll pick a Cowboy film”

Rio then chimed in with “And my money’s on her namesake film”

Rocky chuckled at Rio’s statement and nodded his head in agreement. He then tuned to me and explained

“Calamity Jane … the Movie?” I still looked blank and confused, was there a film about my good doll friend ? Or is there something else here that I wasn’t getting ?

He continued with “She was named after the main character in the film. Its her all time favourite film”

“And she makes us watch it almost every time its her choice” chuckled Rio in reply.

At this point I felt the need to jump in and defend my good friend Calam. After all she might be a bit quirky and country but she was such a kind hearted soul and in my limited experience could often be quite surprising. And I told Rocky just as much finishing with

“Don’t underestimate Calamity, Rocky, she may just surprise you!”

He looked a little touched by my defence of my dear friend as he glanced down and almost slightly nodded his head in reply. The he looked me straight in the eyes and proclaimed

“You’re a loyal friend Ella” and then his face broke into a smirky smile as he jokingly continued “But she’s GONNA pick that film, you just wait”

By this time Jem & Rio were engaged in their own separate discussion and I had hardly noticed that it was just me and Rocky having this conversation alone.

Calamity finally appeared from the DVD shelf with tonights movie pick and as she brought it forward for all to see there was a distinct groan within the group. Apart from Millie who seemed extremely enthusiastic and bounced on her seat a little while clapping her hands and said “Yay” in her usual high pitched squeaky tones.

I sat there and held my hand to my mouth to try and stop myself from giggling out loud and Rocky tried holding his lips close together but could not stop from smiling about it.

Just as they had all predicted Calamity had picked the film that she was named after for our evening entertainment. It was the 1953 musical Calamity Jane, starring Doris Day. She said that it was because I was new to the group and wanted me to see it, but the others knew that wouldn’t have made a difference. She was just Calam, she may be unpredictable in many ways, but it appeared that in movie choices she was not. And her friends knew it too, but loved her all the same.

“Its always a giveaway when she brings Dallas” said Rocky quietly as he leaned over to me. “Calam only brings her along to this one movie”

As he spoke he smiled warmly and I could tell that he was as fond of Calamity as I was, he hadn’t been judging her, or laughing as her film choices, or lack there of. He seemed to find it a lovable trait that someone who seemed so wild and free as Calamity could be so rigid and predictable which seemed somewhat at odds with her personality in general.

As Rocky & I continued to chat, Calam was wrestling with the DVD, trying to load it into the player

“Gets in theyre ya darn squirmin …. Damn!!…. Yous know thiys DVD palayer an me is nowt the beyst of frieynds …. now git” she mumbled to herself as she manoeuvred the disc into place.

Technology and Calamity were not the best of friends it seemed, even when it came to her favourite movie … hmmm this might take a while!

While we waited for Calam to finally get to grips with the DVD player, Rocky and I continued to chat. He scooched over closer to me, so as to not be overheard by the other dolls

“Ella?” he started, sounding unusually sheepish “Theres something I’ve been meaning to say … well not say exactly, I mean ask, yes ask that’s it” he was starting to worry me a little as this was sounding like it could be something important, or perhaps worrying … oh god, he’s got me going now.

“You see, the thing is ..” he continued, still sounding just as disjointed and unsure of what he was trying to say as before “.. the thing is that, well, there is something I wanted to discuss with you … this is going horribly wrong, this is not how I wanted this to sound at all …” I started to feel like we were going in circles, and so far I hadn’t even managed to take part in this whole strange conversation yet either, although considering how it was going that may have been a good thing.

He almost looked like he was about to start sweating, which was kind of odd considering us dolls don’t actually sweat. Then all of a sudden he seemed to manage to find his composure, he looked me straight in the eyes and said with clarity and conviction

“Ella, I was wondering if you might like”

And just at that precise moment he was abruptly interrupted!

 

“Scooch overs Rocky, I’s downt wanna miyss a moment o thiys” exclaimed Calamity excitedly as she promptly squeezed in between Rocky and myself. We were a little startled by her sudden entrance and didn’t quite know what to make of it.

“You’s gonna lurve thiys Ella, yous juyst waiyt” she continued, I genuinely think she had not got a clue that she had just placed herself in the middle of what seemed like, what might have been an important conversation between Rocky & I. But its not like either of us was going to say anything so we just sat there ready to watch the film.

We dimmed the lights and the film started, I have to admit that was not sure what to expect from a cowboy film but within the first few minutes I was already really enjoying myself as everyone seemed to be singing along to the songs, obviously my friends had seen it with Calam soooo many times before that they knew the words by heart. It was so uplifting to hear us all, even including Mr Solemn-Pants himself, Jackson, joining in as we all chanted “Whip crack away, whip crack away, whip crap awaaayyy” and “I just blew in from the windy city, the windy city is a mighty pretty ..”

Infact the more I watched the more I started to realise that a part of Calamity’s thick accent and the way she talked had come from this film. She seemed to know all her characters dialogue and at points did a rather impressive Doris Day impression.

As I looked over at my friend her face was beaming as she watched, she was almost glowing and sooo totally engrossed in the film that I think she would have not noticed if the house had exploded around her.

It was part way through, during one of the non-singing bits that I heard a voice coming from behind

“Psssst .. pssssst Ella?” It was Rocky leaning back behind Calamity trying to get my attention.

I didn’t really want to miss any of the film, but at the same time did not want to be rude, and so I leaned across and whispered softly, as not to disturb Calam “Yes Rocky, what is it ?”

“How are you liking the film so far then?” He replied nervously, I could not believe that he had interrupted me for something so trivial, but he was being so sweet I thought it best not to scold him

“Great so far” I said “But I’m sort of missing it talking to you” I added, then I started to wonder if that was the wrong thing to have said, after all he was just being nice even if his timing was a little flawed.

He looked a little hurt, but smiled and nodded in reply, almost to signal that he had got the message, although I was still worried that he had taken it in the wrong way, as I really honestly did not mean to offend him.

As I turned back to continue watching the film I could feel he was still watching me for a little while and I started to wonder, had i done the right thing ?

The rest of the film was silent, well apart form the obligatory sing-alongs and general merriment from watching a musical. It was an absolute blast with our whole little quirky mismatched family taking part together, and I realised that Calamity had picked the absolute perfect movie for us to watch, I mean anything that can get Jackson joining in is by far no mean feat. Infact I think Calam is much more astute and clever than the rest of the gang gave her credit for, as I had never before seen us all so as one.

On a side note, it was a great film and I would highly recommend it, if like me, you love musicals.