Chapter 19 - "A Little Less Conversation" - 20th September 2012.

I finally felt brave enough to face the world as a couple, however when Rocky and I visit with our good friends, Jem & Rio, it's not just the conversation about my recent ordeal which un-nerves me ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151096175045091.35158.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/ij8xLpQcuKU

Chapter 19 - "A Little Less Conversation".

Rocky has been ever so much more protective of me after yesterdays ‘incident’, but that’s probably just what I needed to help me start feeling safe again whilst I recover from the shock of it all. I also got the impression that he didn’t seem to want me left alone, for the moment at least, and so he persuaded me that today we should try our first ‘couple’ visit, and go and see Jem & Rio. I was still a little concerned about how to behave as a couple in public, but Rocky assured me that everything would be fine and I should just be myself, it shouldn’t matter if he was there with me or not. Somehow I doubted things would be THAT simple, but after Rio had helped come to my rescue yesterday, also looking after me for a short while afterwards, I could hardly say no could I ?

I felt a little nervous as we climbed up onto the games room sofa, but just tried to tell myself that I was being silly and things couldn’t possibly turn out as bad as I was fearing.

When they saw us approaching Jem smiled and waved warmly and Rio being his usual teasing self, pretended to gasp, saying in an over the top posh accent “My word, it cant be, the first public appearance of our newest little happy couple … to what do we owe the honour of your presence today ?”.

Rocky laughed softly shaking his head at the sarcastic tone of our friend and simply replied “Yeah mate, thanks for that”.

I think Rocky could tell that I had taken Rio’s comments a little more to heart than was intended, he knew I still felt bad that I had been too shy to see everyone since we had got together, and comments like that were just the sort of thing that could make matters even worse.

Jem, of course, could always be relied upon to be more delicate and seeing my obvious discomfort smiled and said “You look lovely today Ella, the flowers really complement that dress” she turned to her husband trying to gesture some less antagonistic participation from him as she continued “don’t you think she looks lovely today Dear ?”.

“Eh ? What ? .. oh yes, very tidy indeed” was the reply Rio managed, I think he genuinely didn’t have a clue what was going on or how uncomfortable I was feeling, so was wondering what all the fuss was about.

Jem just rolled her eyes quietly saying “Men !” to herself in disbelief.

All this time Rocky and I had just quietly stood there, I was feeling so much like a lemon at that point that if Rocky had held may waist any tighter I would have probably burst into a puddle of fruit juice ! I was surprised by how different it was being around even just two of our friends as a couple, rather than two individuals, how different I felt they seemed to treat me, and us together now, although maybe it was just me being a little paranoid ? I started to second guess myself again, trying to decide if I should be acting differently to normal, but then thinking about it, I was acting different, but not intentionally and not in a positive way, I was standing there like I was a stranger to them both … oh dear, not good, what am I doing ?

Realising that this was exactly the sort of awkward situation that I had wanted to avoid, Rocky turned to me a little concerned and whispered quietly so that the others would not be able to hear,

“Are you ok? Do you want to go ?”.

He looked at me so tenderly, and even though I was not feeling great about the way things had started, I thought I had better stay and at least try and give it a proper go.

“I’m fine” I lied in an almost inaudible whisper, I felt a bit bad for not telling him the truth but at that moment I did not really think that the truth was going to help anything.

Rocky’s reply was still ever so quietly spoken “You sure ? Coz I can think of an excuse to get away if needs be, just let me know if you need to ?”.

I started to wonder if he could tell I had been lying with my previous answer ? But not really wanting to say too much just then in case Jem and Rio could hear us, I just smiled back at him and nodded ever so slightly so that he would hopefully know I was, sort of, ok for the time being.

“Awwwww … you two look so cute together” blurted Jem in a rather uncharacteristically bold way “you make such a sweet couple”.

I was a little worried at first that perhaps they had in fact heard mine and Rocky’s whispered conversation, but in reality I think she was just referring to the fact that from their point of view, we had been standing there gazing into each others eyes and whispering sweet nothings to each other for the last minute or so. Its funny how different things can actually be on the inside than they appear on the outside, isn’t it ?

Rocky and I could not help but smile at Jem’s statement, we glanced over at each other again and slightly blushed when we both realised that the other was looking too.

“Ahhh young love” chimed in Rio, but he could not resist adding “I don’t remember it myself though”.

Jem gave him a friendly slap and “Oi !!” in return, which made us all laugh and things finally started to feel ever so slightly more relaxed.

Our friends scooted to the side to make room and invited us to sit with them, I think Rio instinctively made the call to move over knowing that us girls would want to sit alongside one another, so that we could chat easier without having to talk across our guys.

Rocky and I seated ourselves on the cushion beside them, although the manner in which we sat was much more formal and not quite as familiar and relaxed as Jem & Rio appeared to be. Rocky gently put his arm around me, holding my waist, I think it was his way of trying to give me a little comforting support. I on the other hand sat there rather stiffly with my hands neatly placed in my lap, holding them together in the hopes that it would help prevent me from fidgeting with my dress, as I was so prone to do when things felt a little awkward.

I was still worried about saying something daft in front of everyone and so sat there saying nothing. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed, and had almost tuned out of the general small talk/chit chat that was going on around me, when I suddenly heard Rio directing a comment my way.

“Well, you’re looking much brighter than yesterday, that’s for sure” he then turned to his wife saying “she was white as a sheet after it happened”.

I was suddenly remembering the horrible events from yesterday again, a little gasp of panic came over me inside as I recalled how trapped and scared I had felt at the time. I guess it was natural for them to have brought it up, but it shook me up inside to the point where I think I would have felt more comfortable going back to the teasing about mine & Rocky’s relationship part.

Jem asked how I was feeling about it all now ? I couldn’t quite make eye contact with any of them as I quietly looked down.

“It still feels a bit scary when I think about it” I mumbled “but its over now, so I guess I should be fine”.

No one said a word and I could feel Rocky holding my waist with more strength as he gently almost stroked my side with compassion. I couldn’t tell if maybe he was angry or something, but my comment did seem to have an effect on him which was in no way intentional. And still not a word from anyone !

Then, just as I was starting to wonder what on earth I could possibly say, or do next, to break this uncomfortable silence that I had created, Rocky leaned over, taking my hand gently in his. As I looked up at him, his eyes were so full of tender loving warmth, he smiled and said “I will never let anyone hurt you Ella, you know that right ?”.

Awww … I did know that he truly meant it, after all, he had come to my rescue yesterday and if I think about it, I dread to consider where things may have led to had he not arrived when he did ? But that thought was starting to scare me again a little, so I decided to try and push it aside in my mind and focus of the fact that in this instance everything had worked out ok.

I looked at my guy appreciatively and then I suddenly realised that I had not thanked him for his actions in my rescue …oh how awful ! I couldn’t bear the thought of him thinking that I was ungrateful.

“I never did thank you properly yesterday, Rocky” I started ever so nervously, I hoped that at least this once I would be able to say something important without spouting endless streams of nonsense from my mouth. “If it wasn’t for you, I … I .. I” I had wanted to add that I really don’t know what might have happened, but somehow it seemed too scary and I could not form the words and instead said “.. you are my Hero !”.

Rocky held my hand tighter in his and smiled in an almost embarrassed way when I said the ‘Hero’ part, I wondered why ? To me he really was a Hero, coming to the aid of a damsel in distress like that, and it was so clear that his actions were not just to come to the rescue because it was me in trouble, he would have done the same thing for anyone, he’s just that sort of guy.

At that moment I remembered that Rocky and I were not alone, and not only that, I still owed the guy sitting just to the side of me a debt of gratitude aswell. I turned around instantly to face him saying “I also wanted to thank you too Rio. Thanks for being there too, and … and looking after me in my hour of need”.

He smiled rather humbly, simply replying “Anytime”.

Jem seemed to feel truly proud of the gallant behaviour of her husband on my behalf, she lovingly turned to him, gazed into his eyes saying “Awww, my Hero”. Rio tenderly held the hand of his wife as she continued “See I knew you were a big old softy really !”.

“Well if needs must” he replied, holding Jem in what appeared to be a rather passionate embrace, he then winked at her, adding in his usual playful tone “but don’t tell everyone”.

They giggled and looked so very deeply in love, I was quite taken with watching them and thought how they were truly a match made in heaven. Despite 26 years of marriage, they could still feel ‘that’ level of deep passion for each other, it was comforting to know that REAL true love does exist, and that it can stand the test of time.

Jem and Rio were so caught up in their own little moment that it was suddenly becoming rather obvious that they were about to kiss !!! … what’s the big deal, I hear you ask ? … well to me it was a big deal. I had never seen my two friends be so open with such a public display of affection before, and in all truth had never actually seen anyone kiss in real life, apart from in films etc of course, but they don’t count as that’s all make believe.

This was all very real though, and as much as I didn’t want to, I suddenly felt as if I was intruding on their privacy and so turned away just before their lips touched.

The only problem now was that with such a passionate display going on right behind me I came over a little flushed in the cheeks. I could not look Rocky in the face, as I started to wonder what he was thinking about at that moment ? … but in reality it wasn’t going to take a genius to guess. We were still VERY aware of the fact that we had not yet kissed, and somehow Jem and Rio’s moment of pure intimacy was highlighting that fact to both of us very prominently. There was a sense of the uncomfortable between us, like a huge neon sign in the sky, blinking away and pointing out to the whole world that our relationship was still in the pre-kissing phase.

I was starting to wonder how much more of this awkward tension between us I could handle, when Rocky gently asked.

“Ella … please look at me ?”.

As much as I hated the strain of the way things were feeling at that moment, I was a little worried that looking at him might actually make things worse, but somehow could not refuse and slowly lifted my head towards his. As our eyes met he softly smiled but I could tell he had something more serious on his mind, it was written all over his face !

“Look, I know what you must be thinking and feeling ..” he started, quite a bold statement in my opinion, as he was not exactly inside my head, but then I don’t think he had to be at that point. It was pretty apparent that we both knew exactly what the other was thinking, but somehow Rocky trying to vocalise it made things all the more ‘real’ and awkward. There was a little tense pause between us before he continued

“.. You see, I just wanted to say that I get it, I do, I understand, and I feel the same way, but Sweetheart … you have to remember, that’s them and this, this here is ‘us’. And we shouldn’t let the way others conduct their personal lives have any bearings on the way ‘we’ choose to take our relationship” I was quite captivated by the way in which Rocky was speaking to me when he finished by adding “Look, we’ll just take things as they come, in their own time, when ‘we’re’ ready … ok ?”.

I could not believe how Rocky had managed that whole little chat without even mentioning, out loud that is, that we had not kissed. I was rather impressed as to be quite frank, I think my face would have turned a rather shocking shade of scarlet had the word ‘kiss’ actually left his lips ! But apart from that I was almost in awe of the mature and thought out way in which he saw things and managed to convey them to me without causing further distress. I felt a touch silly and a little child-like for how I had reacted now.

“OK, OK you two” blurted Rocky in the direction of Jem & Rio, I think at this point we both had the feeling that we were in need of a drastic subject change to clear our heads form all these kissing thoughts. “Get a room will ya !?” he continued playfully, signalling them in case they had, in fact, got so caught up in each other that they had forgotten we were still sitting here.

As they glanced over at us they laughed with an ever so slight, almost undetectable look of embarrassment on their faces, as the realisation hit that perhaps they had taken things slightly too far. I was quite intrigued to see that even a couple who have been together for as long as these two, could still end up in little awkward situations. That made me feel a little better about feeling shy myself, perhaps it’s something everyone feels at some point or another when your overwhelming emotions create that occasional lapse in judgement ?

Feeling the need to drawer the attention back away from their actions, Jem commented on the fact that she and Rio were so glad that they now had another couple to hang out with. I guess it must have been quite strange for them being the only pair in a group of singles, but as the four of us chatted I did start to think how that might end up changing the dynamics of the whole group now that Rocky and I were an item. I mean now we had two couples, and three singles in our little friendly unit, would that make Calamity and the others feel awkward around us ?

Thinking about it, with Calam probably not, she was far too grounded, nothing ever phased that doll. Millie was so excitable about everything that I doubt she would put enough thought into the situation to even consider that anything might be different. But Jackson, he was the one I wondered the most about, still so cut up inside about his lost love, how would he feel about having a blossoming romance under his nose ? … Well it’s not like I was going to end things with Rocky for that, but I had to try and remember that we would have to be considerate in our behaviour when we were eventually around him together.

Jem put her arm around me as we all talked more, I relaxed and felt so much more comfortable, the four of us had never been closer. Rocky and Rio were already as good as brothers, and with Jem being one of my best friends everything seemed right and clicked into place. It was as though we were in fact family, you could almost feel the growing close bond and connection between us all, it was such a wonderful sensation, to actually belong … There was just one small niggle in the back of my mind though, what if things between Rocky and I did not work out ? Would our friendships and connection ever be able to withstand such a split if it occurred ? …. I tried to sweep it aside as I really did not want to jinx my new relationship, and could not possibly entertain the notion that anything could ‘really’ ever come between Rocky and I … could it ?

Chapter 18 - "Bad Romance" - 19th September 2012.

An unexpected encounter with my former-crush leads to a rather scary and worrying situations for me. So what do you do when someone wont take "No" for an answer ? ... Hope and pray for a miracle perhaps ? But will one appear in time ? ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151091848378857.35156.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/5yfswVYZph8

Chapter 18 - "Bad Romance".

Today I was feeling a little happier after the chat I had with Rocky yesterday had eased the pressure of things a little. I decided to take a stroll around the ground floor, as I sometimes do to pass the time. I was heading towards the dining room and could still picture the overwhelming romance that had swept over me when I had last been there with Rocky in my arms. I was almost dancing my way across the room, this time singing tunes from the Phantom of the Opera, Rocky and I had been listening to the soundtrack together on the ipod, just last night.

Rocky knew how much I loved musicals and thought Phantom would be something I would like, and he wasn’t wrong. Personally I don’t think he’s a musicals kinda guy myself, but he did seem to like this particular one. He told me all about how much of a huge thing it had been when it first opened back in the mid 80’s, and how Holly’s parents went to see the show back then, in the first few months of it opening. They bought a cd of the songs at the time which even though she was very young, Holly loved so much that she borrowed it and still has not got around to returning it to this day ! Supposedly she finally got to see the actual show herself on her 21st Birthday too.

It was amazing how much I had learnt from Rocky about the history etc of the household, but sometimes it did make me feel far too new, young and unaware of anything. I did however find his experience and wisdom an extremely attractive quality, and I was reassured to know that he was always there to talk to if I wanted, which for a naïve little doll like me, was something that I was in regular need of.

Anyway, I was prancing across the room singing the main title song from Phantom at the top of my voice “In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name, and do I dream again, for now I find, the Phaaa..ahh !!”.

I didn’t quite finish that line of the song as I was quite startled by the sudden appearance of Kirk from around the corner. I was a little embarrassed that he had obviously heard me singing so loudly, and most likely ‘really’ out of tune, but was actually more pleased that it had not been Rocky who had caught me in another embarrassing display.

“I have been waiting for you to walk back into my life again” said Kirk in a rather broody tone, I think he was trying to be charming, but to me he just came across cheesey and a little too full of himself this time.

After I said “Hello” I stood there looking at him, I was very struck by the fact that he did not appear as handsome and dreamy as when we had previously met. His face lacked expression, he didn’t seem to have a very nice smile, or much of a smile at all in fact, and his eyes appeared so pale and washed out compared to the lovely bright blue colour of my Rocky’s eyes. I had to laugh at myself and really wondered what on earth I had seen in this guy when I had briefly fancied him before in my moment of obvious sheer madness ?

I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable around Kirk though as he continued talking to me in a way that, I felt, was a little too familiar and inappropriate.

“I saw you on Friday in that sexy red dress and hoped you would be by again to see me, so that we could finish where we left off before … that screechy little cowgirl doll isn’t around anywhere is she ?” he looked around to check that we were indeed alone, although at that moment I wished that Calamity had been with me, as something about this whole situation did not feel at all right.

I was a little shocked that Kirk had seen me on Friday, but then when I thought about it, Rocky and I had parked the car on the edge of the dining room that evening, so we would most likely have been in sight of him as we got in or out of the jeep. But the thing that made me really feel on edge was the implication that he thought I was actually coming to see him now to continue something from weeks ago.

Things got even more extremely awkward though when he looked at me as if her was trying to do a ‘Flynn Ryder’ smoulder and proceeded to touch my face !

I turned away and stood a little further back from him, hoping that he would get the hint. I had not given him a second thought since our first meeting, how full of himself is this guy that he thinks I would be that taken with him ? OK, granted at the time when we had first met I did sort of slobber all over him a bit, which may have given that impression, but I certainly wasn’t giving him any signs like that now !

I really wondered if Kirk had a problem with reading body language as he was still undeterred by my reaction to him, or maybe he saw my obvious disinterest as more of a challenge ? Whatever it was, he was pushing things well beyond the bounds of propriety when he came close, put his arm around me, and started to lean in close.

I tried to get him to back off saying “Please don’t” whilst trying to push him away a bit. This was all starting to get far too uncomfortable for me and I just wanted a way out !

As I turned around trying to leave back in the direction that I had come from he, quick as lightening, seemed to move to that side and block me exit with his arm. What was this guy on ? and why could he not seem to grasp the simple concept of no ? I wondered if he thought this was all a big game, but I did not find it at all funny, I was not playing hard to get if that is what he was thinking, and I really just wished he would leave me alone.

I tried again to get away again, but this time he grabbed my arm rather tightly, and said.

“Dollface, you know you don’t want to leave really, you cant deny the chemistry between us”.

Dollface? .. really ? … god this guy still doesn’t even know what my name is. And as for the chemistry comment, oh yes I flippin can deny it, after this ungentlemanly display I would no more want to be intimate with this guy than I would with a monkeys backside. I started to panic and tried to squirm my way out of his grip as I got a little more cross and rather angrily declared .

“Get off, let me go !!”.

But Kirk still wouldn’t listen, only replying “Ooh you’re a firey little thing aren’t you Dollface, I like that in a girl”.

I tried to keep pushing him away, but he was much stronger than I was, and with the amount I had been struggling to try and free my arm from his ever tightening hold I was, in a way, glad I was a doll made of plastic as I am sure I would have ended up black and blue had I been flesh and blood like all you humans. But at that moment doll or not, if I had known of a way to detach my arm so that I could have escaped I would have gladly made that sacrifice.

I was almost crying as I started to plead uncontrollably.

“Stop it, stop it, please don’t, no, let me go, please, you’re hurting me”.

I was trapped, there was no way out, and for the very first time in my entire life I felt VERY frightened !

“I think the lady said No!”.

I looked up, rather alarmed and worried about what was happening now, and was so surprised, but relieved at the same time, to see Rocky standing there! I had never ever been so happy to see him in my life (and that was saying something). I don’t know if it was just luck, if he had heard my squeals, or if he just sensed that I had needed him ? But whatever the reason, he was here at just the right moment, although a little earlier may have been a little more helpful on reflection, but I wasn’t exactly going to be that picky about the manner of my rescue, was I ? As he briefly looked at me, he gently smiled as if to try and make me realise that everything would be ok now, I think he had hopes that his smile might help to start calming me down from my overly panicked state, and in fact it did make me feel a little better.

Rocky then just stared right at Kirk, coldly and directly, not saying a single word, it was almost as if these two guys were having some kind of telepathic conversation that I was not aware of, as by now Kirk had loosened his hold on me enough so that I could finally break free.

I leaped into Rockys arms as though my life depended on it, I held on so tightly whilst quivering in fear, almost crying from relief that my ordeal was now over. I finally started to feel safe again as he held me close and whispered ever so softly in my ear.

“Don’t cry Sweetheart, its ok, its all over now, your safe, I’m here”.

But I could tell that even though he was talking to me so lovingly, Rocky was still looking straight at Kirk, who by now had realised that he was in a bit a pickle himself and so tried to feebly explain his actions with “Hey we were just chatting and she freaked out about something, I was just trying to calm her down”.

Realising that Rocky was never going to swallow that load of twaddle, Kirk turned to try and make a speedy departure but was a little surprised to find Rio was standing there looking rather chilled, but very intimidating all the same. He also gave Kirk a look, but this one was more of a sarcky smile that told him there was no escape from this one. I could not believe my luck, not only had Rocky come to my rescue but he had also brought back up, but then I am sure Rocky would do the same in return for Rio if anyone had ever tried anything like this with Jem. Those two guys were as close as brothers and they always had each other backs.

“Rio, mate, long time no see” said Kirk, trying to cover up the fact that he had almost tried to run away. I cant believe he thought he was going to fumble his way out of this one that easily.

Rio looked him up an down and simply replied “Kirk … mate … I think you need a lesson in the proper way to treat a lady”.

Kirks responses were starting to sound more concerned “Look, whatever you thought you saw, its not what it looked like, I can assure you that ..”.

“No, I can assure you … Dollface” interrupted Rio sounding ever so stern, not even giving Kirk the opportunity to finish his next excuse “we know ‘exactly’ what was going on here, so don’t worry there is no ‘misunderstanding’ going on for us!”.

And with that Rocky and Rio looked at one another for a split second, it felt as though they also had had one of the those silent telepathic chats that didn’t need any words to communicate what the other was thinking. But I still didn’t really have a clue what was really going on, maybe it was some kind of guy thing that I just didn’t understand ?

Seeing that I had calmed down a fair bit by now, Rocky scooted me behind him in a protective sort of manner, but continued to stare straight at Kirk whilst asking Rio “Mate, would you mind taking Ella next door for me? get her a warm drink or something to help calm her nerves”.

“No problem” he replied “sure you don’t want me to stay?”.

Rocky smiled slyly, sounding so confident and almost like he was mischievously up to something in his response, even though he still had not broken eye contact with Kirk all this time.

“Thanks Mate, but I can handle this”.

Rio gently took my elbow saying “Come along Ella” encouraging me to go with him. Even though I knew that I would be safe with Rio I had really wanted to stay with Rocky all the same, but it did not sound as if I had a choice in the matter.

As we started to walk away in the direction of the kitchen I glanced behind feeling a bit confused as I didn’t quite know what was going on. I called back to Rocky a little worriedly asking “Are you not coming with us then ?”.

“I’ll be along in just a few minutes, don’t worry” he replied smiling away “I am just gonna have a little ‘CHAT’ with our friend Kirk here”.

I could see that for some reason Rocky had grabbed Kirk by the scruff of his collar, as if to stop his escape or something. I also wondered why Rocky was smiling in such an odd manner ? But its not like I was allowed to hang around to find out.

“Come along Ella, lets get you that warm drink now shall we ?” said Rio, sounding as if he was trying to hurry me along.

I still could not help looking back as we walked on, wondering what it was Rocky was going to say to Kirk in this ‘chat’ of theirs? When I asked Rio, he smiled and cryptically replied.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be getting any more problems from that guy”.

When Rocky did finally join us in the Kitchen, about 10 minutes later, he was all smiles and made a big fuss over me, but he never did really answer when I asked what he and Kirk had talked about in private ? I couldn’t help but wonder if more had happened than any of them were letting on ? … maybe it’s a guy thing ? For the life of me sometimes I really cannot fathom the way mens minds work ? Especially this strange almost telepathic look/conversation thing that I had witnessed several times today, what was that all about ? And how come they all seemed to know what the other was saying with just a blank look and I hadn’t the foggiest ?

All in all, the whole thing has left me with many more questions than answers, and somehow I have the sneaky suspicion they will never let me know the truth of what really went down when I wasn’t there!

Chapter 17 - "Man ! I Feel Like A Woman !" - 18th September 2012.

Sometimes it's NOT such a great idea to try on your fella's clothes when there's the potential of having an AUDIENCE to such an embarrassing display ... Oooops ! ... Ironically though, that wasn't my ONLY concern when running into Rocky for the first time since our date ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151090321712343.35155.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/XxBecTAm0VI

Chapter 17 - "Man ! I Feel Like A Woman !".

The cloud that I had been happily floating on since Friday night was still ever present today, as I was meandering my way down the second stairs at a dreamy pace, still humming the ‘Lady In Red’ tune in my head. I was hoping to bump into Rocky so that I could return his jacket, but more importantly just REALLY wanted to see him again. In truth though, I had chosen the route of the second stairs to make my way down as it was a path much less used my most of the dolls. I wasn’t too sure I was ready to be confronted with more probing questions about my love life just yet, and I knew that seeing everyone again was going to make me feel rather awkward.

It was as I neared the bottom step that I noticed how the Autumn weather had already started to turn, it felt much colder than it had been the last time I had worn my cute spotty picnic dress. I considered heading back upstairs again to change but for some reason didn’t really fancy climbing all the way back up just yet.

I rubbed my arms and cuddled close to Rocky’s jacket, sighing longingly, I couldn’t help but remember the moment when he had given it to me so gallantly when our evening together had drawn to a close.

Now, I probably should have known better, but to be honest I wasn’t really thinking straight at the time, and so the daft idea suddenly came to me that I should try on Rocky’s jacket, just to see what it would look like on me, after all it would also warm me up a little bit at the same time. So how could that be a bad thing ? … right ?

I had remembered that there was a mirror at the bottom of the stairs that was sitting on the floor waiting to be properly hung up on the wall, so that was the perfect height for me to use and see how I looked. I couldn’t help but giggle when I saw my reflection, the jacket was obviously too big for me, but all the same it reminded me of ‘my guy’ and I smiled at myself whilst thinking of him.

I did not, at this point, notice that I was not alone in the room, like I had thought. Looking back on it now, I must have looked like a right vain idiot, standing there admiring myself wearing a guys jacket over my summer dress. But like I said, I had not noticed that there was someone who had spotted me and was slowly approaching from behind.

“It suits you” said a chuckling voice which caught me rather off guard, as I looked up and saw Rockys face staring at me in the mirror reflection. I was so shocked I just gasped in horror!

Of all the people that could have possibly been there to witness my rather embarrassing display, it of course, had to be the one person in the entire world that I would not have wanted to see me like this. Oh god …!!!! This was the most embarrassing moment of my life, and not exactly what I had planned as an ideal first encounter after the magic of our wonderful date together.

I instantly turned around rather mortified, but now he was right there in front of me, I backed up to the glass of the mirror behind me, but there was no escaping this. Rocky was there and he had obviously seen everything that I had been doing, and I could not believe I had once again managed to make a fool of myself in front of him.

“I … I … I was just … I errr … well you see …” and now that I had opened my mouth I had even managed to make a bad situation worse by babbling like a village idiot. Great work, that’s just perfect, well done there Ella, I thought to myself as I was still a little unsure about how I was going to explain my way out of this one ?

As I stood their silent, still desperately trying to think of something, anything, that might have explained my actions, Rocky came to my rescue. He came up close, gently stroked my arm with compassion taking my hand in his and said.

“I see you are still wearing the flower I gave you”.

My Hero!!! Thank god he had changed the subject and not pressed me for an explanation of my earlier behaviour, he was such a sweety, and probably more good to me than I deserved.

“Ohhhh, yes” I smiled as I looked down and realised what he was referring to “I wanted to keep it with me always …well as long as it lasts, that is … I hope you don’t mind ?”

Once again I had unintentionally managed to make Rocky smile, as he tried to keep his composure and replied

“Of course not, I’m just glad you like it”.

For some reason the look on his face told me that he was truly touched by the fact that I was still wearing his flower, even days after our night out was over. But I guess when you think about it, actions speak louder than words and mine were obviously screaming out loud what my feelings for Rocky were.

With the initial discomfort and my odd behaviour now starting to move behind us, Rocky put his arm around me rather tenderly and asked.

“So where have you been hiding these last couple of days ? The others have been asking about you”.

I didn’t really quite know what to say, as I hadn’t really been hiding, well I had in a way, but not from him. And then all of a sudden I wondered if he thought I had been avoiding him since Friday ? Oh god, he didn’t did he ? As that really was not what had happened. I started to panic and once again had an unstoppable urge to babble.

“I wasn’t avoiding you” I blurted, but that didn’t really come out like I had meant it, and in a way somehow seemed to sound like I ‘had’ been avoiding him, it wasn’t the question that he had asked but for some reason I was answering something completely different for no apparent reason what so ever. As I continued to speak I could feel myself digging a deeper and deeper hole from which there would be no escape.“.. I mean, I wasn’t hiding. Well, not from you, not from anyone really, well truthfully I was sort of hiding, but again not from you” oh my word, what was I saying ? This was awful, just awful.

This time Rocky really could not keep a straight face and burst out laughing as he watched me floundering in nonsensical sentence’s.

“Ok, so we have established that you weren’t hiding from me … but perhaps you were, a little bit, from the others?” he was trying to help me out, and lets be fair, at this point I REALLY needed it. His face started to come over more serious and concerned as he went on “Sweetheart, why were you hiding from our friends ?”.

Sweetheart? Had he really just called me Sweetheart ? Awwww, I was so caught up by him saying the Sweetheart bit that I had almost not really listened to the rest of his question. But then I saw him looking at me patiently awaiting my answer and I felt a little embarrassed as I realised that the Sweetheart bit was probably not actually supposed to be the most important part of what he had just said to me … oh dear.

Sensing that this problem of mine may not be as simple as he had first thought, Rocky led me over to the base of the stairs so that we could sit down together on the step and things would feel a little more comfortable so that we could continue our discussion.

As we sat there he lovingly took my hand again, which made me feel so safe, and he asked again.

“So, are you actually gonna tell me what’s bothering you ? …. Or are we going to have to play a game of charades? …. or learn sign language ? …. or something else so that I can figure it out?”.

I couldn’t help but giggle at his comments, Rocky always knew exactly how to lighten the mood when I was having difficulty expressing myself, and sometimes a bit of ill-placed humour was just the thing to help clear my head and enable me to gather my thoughts a little better.

“Well, I …” oh great this was starting like it was going to be about as coherent as my last explanation, but somehow I managed to pull myself together enough to start to explain a little better. “I’m not sure that I’m ready … to face them, all together, as ‘us’ … with all the looks, and comments, and questions, and teasing, and I know they don’t mean anything by it, but ..”.

I think that Rocky could tell that I had not quite finished what I was trying to say to him, so he quietly waited for me to be able to continue in my own time. I really had to hold my nerve though, I could not quite look him in the eyes to finish this next part “I’m shy … I don’t know what I am doing. I haven’t a clue how to be part of a couple, how I’m supposed to behave, that is? and I’m afraid that I will do something silly, well more silly than normal, and they will all end up laughing at me and … and … and you will be disappointed in me”.

I felt an idiot for saying it, but I had to be honest, I owed Rocky at least that, no matter if it did make me look like a naive dim-witted fool from the admission alone.

This time Rocky did not laugh or chuckle, or even look remotely amused by my statement. He could tell this was something that was obviously a BIG worry of mine, especially to have kept me away from our friends for so long, and so it had to be taken seriously and dealt with with delicate care and understanding.

“Well” he sighed as he pulled me closer and I rested my head on his shoulder “That’s something we’re gonna have to work on then, aren’t we ? … Together” I was so pleased that he had not made me feel silly, but was still a little unnecessarily worried that a joke was coming when he added “Ella, I just want to clear something up, ok ? …. I would never, ever be disappointed in you for being you … and all those ‘silly’ as you put it, things you do, they’re a very lovable part of makes you who you are. I don’t expect, or want you to change for me. And if you don’t feel confident or comfortable enough just yet, for us to be a couple in front of everyone else, then where they are concerned we’ll just take it slow, baby steps, and see how it goes … how does that sound ?”.

I was speechless, I could not manage a worded reply but did give a happy appreciative little nod of the head to let him know that I had heard what he had said.

We sat together quietly in each others arms for a long time, and I wondered what on earth I had done to deserve this wonderful, understanding guy ? The more time we spend together the more amazing Rocky seemed to become, but in return, the more daft I appeared to behave.

On reflection, I don’t think I was fully prepared for the rush of conflicting emotions that a first romance and relationship can bring, but luckily I would not have to go through it alone. I truly felt unworthy of him and was becoming increasing curious about what it was that he really saw in me ? as I haven’t a clue what it is about me that had captivated him so ? In the end though I decided that this was not the moment to ask such a thing, and instead realised that rather than asking why he cared about me so, I should for the moment at least, just be grateful and thank my lucky stars that he did !

Chapter 16 - "If She Knew What She Wants ?" - 15th September 2012.

It's the morning after my wonderful 1st date with Rocky, and my little plastic head is STILL up in the clouds and full of dreamy romance ♥ ... Mmmmmm ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151088521712523.35154.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/VLezynAiJqc

Chapter 16 - "If She Knew What She Wants ?"

Just as I had predicted, I was unable to sleep a wink all night long. I tossed and turned and my mind raced, I kept replaying every moment from the evening over and over again in my head, every look he gave me, the excited sensation of every time we touched, and how overjoyed I had felt when Rocky had told me he was falling for me. It was perfect, the perfect night, the perfect date, the perfect start to our relationship.

I was so very tired and yet every time I closed my eyes I could see a clear image of us dancing to “Lady In Red”, his arms wrapped around me so tightly. I pictured every curve and line of Rocky’s handsome face as he had smiled at me, how his eyes had sparkled and his cheeks glowed in the warm romantic lamp light.

It was pretty obvious by now that I was utterly smitten with the guy, and as I lay there imagining what our wonderful perfect, happily every after life might be like together, I blushed with the realisation that I was starting to get a bit ahead of myself. The dust had not even settled from our date yet, so it was a little soon to start planning our Wedding! Yes, I know it was silly to be thinking about such thinks already, but I couldn’t help it, I thought of what a handsome groom Rocky would make and pictured his face looking at me lovingly as I walked down the aisle and into his arms forever.

OK, this was starting to get out of control, I had to snap myself out of this daydream and come down to earth, where in reality Rocky and I were no where near that stage yet, and in truth it was only at that moment when I even started to consider the possibility that he may not actually be looking for that sort of relationship anyway ? After all he was a 29 year old doll, who despite having been outnumbered over the years by many beautiful Barbie, and various other types of female fashion dolls, had yet to settle down with anyone. Maybe he isn’t the marrying kind ? As I started to feel a little sad, I realised that I was at it again, oh gosh I need help!! I have got to stop living in the tomorrows and come back to the present, I will just see what happens and where things naturally lead on there own. Yeah, like I’m really going to be able to manage that … well I had to give it a go at least.

I still had Rocky’s jacket with me, the one that I had borrowed to keep warm on our journey back from the dining room last night. As I sat there I held it tightly in my arms, I caressed the soft velvety texture and could not resist breathing in deeply the masculine aroma of ‘my guy’ that still lingered on the fabric. I could not stop thinking about him and was desperately wishing that he was here with me now so that I could tell him once again how wonderful he truly is.

I was so caught up in my own little world that I did not notice the arrival of my two best friends until they had startled me slipping down either side of me on the sofa smiling with such mischievous curiosity as they asked.

“Well, how’d it go then ?” I could tell that they were dying to know every thing that had happened and were not going to leave until they had extracted every last juicy detail.

“It was wonderful” I replied feeling ever so slightly shy but still unable to stop my face from grinning ear to ear dreamily as I spoke.

“We’s gownna needs mowre than thayt” responded Calamity in her usual blunt, state the obvious, kid of manner “We need to knows awll them details, an you knows you wanna teyll us really anyways, so spiyll ???”

I sat there for a moment a little shocked by the overly direct way in which Calam had spoken, there was no beating around the bush with her, she got right to the point and always said what she thought no matter how unsubtle or inappropriate at the time.

As it happened though, I was so unbelievably happing inside that I was bursting to let it out, and so did not have much of a problem when it came down to describing to my nearest and dearest girl-pals all that had taken place throughout Rocky and mines magical evening together.

They sat so quietly as I described at great length every moment of the most romantic, wonderful night of my life. They were hanging so much on every word I spoke that you could have heard a pin drop as I finished talking, it was as though it took them a few extra seconds to take it all in, or they were perhaps a little taken by the dreamy gooey eyed expression that was written all over my face as I spoke ?

Jem and Calam looked at each other for a brief second and Clam put her arms around my shoulder leant in close and asked with such a cheeky tone of utter curiosity it was as though she would die if he did not find out the answer immediately.

“But the ‘BIYG’ quyestion is … Did he kiyss ya??”.

Jem looked so shocked and almost rolled her eyes at the total lack of tact that Calam had displayed in asking the question, even though I pretty much figured she had been wondering the exact same thing herself anyway.

I felt a little embarrassed about answering such an intimate question and bowed my head and started to fidget a little, playing the with the sleeve on Rocky’s jacket uncontrollably as I softly and shyly whispered “no” as my reply.

Obviously this kissing thing was a bit of a big deal, for me and them. I wasn’t sure if they were just curious about how much of a gentleman Rocky had actually been on our date ? Or if it was that they had just expected more to happen between us on a intimate personal level? But either way, I felt a little pressured and even started to wonder myself if there was another reason besides chivalry why Rocky had not kissed me last night? as its not like he didn’t have plenty of opportunities. And the fact that my friends had expected us to kiss too, made me start to doubt things even more.

Upon seeing how blatantly distressed I was by the line of questioning Jem put her arm around me and said in a reassuring tone.

“Don’t sweat the kissing thing Ella, it’ll happen when you are both good ‘n’ ready” I was starting to calm down just a little as she continued “In truth Rio and I didn’t kiss until we were Married, but things were a bit different back then and we did have a bit of a whirlwind romance and Married very young.” I listened intently as Jem spoke, I was quite surprised by her declaration and secretly hoped that I would not have to wait ‘that’ long for Rocky to kiss me. Jem finished her little advice/comforting talk by simply saying “But what suits some people wont suit others, there’s not a timetable that you have to follow when if comes to the speed at which a relationship takes shape, for some people it takes years to feel comfortable around one another whilst others take days or even hours … Just follow your heart and just let things develop at their own pace and you will never go wrong”.

Jem was so wise when it came to matters of the heart, and she was right, in truth, what did it matter if Rocky had not kissed me last night ? I am not sure that I was really quite ready for that anyway thinking about it, even though I might have said otherwise had you asked me when Rocky had held me close yesterday. And rather than questioning him, I really should be praising him for is unwavering gentlemanly conduct despite the fact that he surely must have really wanted to kiss me during our intimate moments of the evening. To his credit, he never once put an ounce of pressure on me to try and force things along further. In essence that shows exactly how much respect he really does have for me, which is much more important in the long run than a sloppily rushed inappropriate kiss, surly ?

As the girls saw my demeanour return to the happy floaty daydreaming smile that had been so apparent when they had arrived they smiled so sweetly at me and Calam put her arm around me once again, but this time she simply said.

“Sees I’s done tol’ you t’would awll be alright … Rocky’s a fiyne genteelmanly dowll, an you treats hiym right an eveythiyng ‘ll come up roses, yous jus’ wait”.

I smiled at her confidence in me and felt reassured by the fact that my friends clearly thought that Rocky and I were perfect for each other, and had a real chance of a future together. It was in that instant as I smiled that tears started rolling down my face, I was so happy, so very much had happened in the last 24 hours or so that I couldn’t hold it in any longer, the cork was out of the bottle and there was no way it was going back in.

My friends looked at each other and then at me with that “Awww Ella” look that was a mixture of sympathy and happiness as they both came close and hugged me tightly. They knew that I was not crying with sadness and so just smiled at me sweetly and seemed to genuinely happy that, for now at least, everything had turned out exactly how everyone had hoped.

I sat there feeling so loved, I thought again of ‘My Rocky’ and couldn’t help but ask myself, when would I see him again ? And more importantly, would he still feel the same about me in the light of day ?