Ella - The World According To A Disney Doll

Chapter 19 - "A Little Less Conversation" - 20th September 2012.

I finally felt brave enough to face the world as a couple, however when Rocky and I visit with our good friends, Jem & Rio, it's not just the conversation about my recent ordeal which un-nerves me ...

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Chapter 19 - "A Little Less Conversation".

Rocky has been ever so much more protective of me after yesterdays ‘incident’, but that’s probably just what I needed to help me start feeling safe again whilst I recover from the shock of it all. I also got the impression that he didn’t seem to want me left alone, for the moment at least, and so he persuaded me that today we should try our first ‘couple’ visit, and go and see Jem & Rio. I was still a little concerned about how to behave as a couple in public, but Rocky assured me that everything would be fine and I should just be myself, it shouldn’t matter if he was there with me or not. Somehow I doubted things would be THAT simple, but after Rio had helped come to my rescue yesterday, also looking after me for a short while afterwards, I could hardly say no could I ?

I felt a little nervous as we climbed up onto the games room sofa, but just tried to tell myself that I was being silly and things couldn’t possibly turn out as bad as I was fearing.

When they saw us approaching Jem smiled and waved warmly and Rio being his usual teasing self, pretended to gasp, saying in an over the top posh accent “My word, it cant be, the first public appearance of our newest little happy couple … to what do we owe the honour of your presence today ?”.

Rocky laughed softly shaking his head at the sarcastic tone of our friend and simply replied “Yeah mate, thanks for that”.

I think Rocky could tell that I had taken Rio’s comments a little more to heart than was intended, he knew I still felt bad that I had been too shy to see everyone since we had got together, and comments like that were just the sort of thing that could make matters even worse.

Jem, of course, could always be relied upon to be more delicate and seeing my obvious discomfort smiled and said “You look lovely today Ella, the flowers really complement that dress” she turned to her husband trying to gesture some less antagonistic participation from him as she continued “don’t you think she looks lovely today Dear ?”.

“Eh ? What ? .. oh yes, very tidy indeed” was the reply Rio managed, I think he genuinely didn’t have a clue what was going on or how uncomfortable I was feeling, so was wondering what all the fuss was about.

Jem just rolled her eyes quietly saying “Men !” to herself in disbelief.

All this time Rocky and I had just quietly stood there, I was feeling so much like a lemon at that point that if Rocky had held may waist any tighter I would have probably burst into a puddle of fruit juice ! I was surprised by how different it was being around even just two of our friends as a couple, rather than two individuals, how different I felt they seemed to treat me, and us together now, although maybe it was just me being a little paranoid ? I started to second guess myself again, trying to decide if I should be acting differently to normal, but then thinking about it, I was acting different, but not intentionally and not in a positive way, I was standing there like I was a stranger to them both … oh dear, not good, what am I doing ?

Realising that this was exactly the sort of awkward situation that I had wanted to avoid, Rocky turned to me a little concerned and whispered quietly so that the others would not be able to hear,

“Are you ok? Do you want to go ?”.

He looked at me so tenderly, and even though I was not feeling great about the way things had started, I thought I had better stay and at least try and give it a proper go.

“I’m fine” I lied in an almost inaudible whisper, I felt a bit bad for not telling him the truth but at that moment I did not really think that the truth was going to help anything.

Rocky’s reply was still ever so quietly spoken “You sure ? Coz I can think of an excuse to get away if needs be, just let me know if you need to ?”.

I started to wonder if he could tell I had been lying with my previous answer ? But not really wanting to say too much just then in case Jem and Rio could hear us, I just smiled back at him and nodded ever so slightly so that he would hopefully know I was, sort of, ok for the time being.

“Awwwww … you two look so cute together” blurted Jem in a rather uncharacteristically bold way “you make such a sweet couple”.

I was a little worried at first that perhaps they had in fact heard mine and Rocky’s whispered conversation, but in reality I think she was just referring to the fact that from their point of view, we had been standing there gazing into each others eyes and whispering sweet nothings to each other for the last minute or so. Its funny how different things can actually be on the inside than they appear on the outside, isn’t it ?

Rocky and I could not help but smile at Jem’s statement, we glanced over at each other again and slightly blushed when we both realised that the other was looking too.

“Ahhh young love” chimed in Rio, but he could not resist adding “I don’t remember it myself though”.

Jem gave him a friendly slap and “Oi !!” in return, which made us all laugh and things finally started to feel ever so slightly more relaxed.

Our friends scooted to the side to make room and invited us to sit with them, I think Rio instinctively made the call to move over knowing that us girls would want to sit alongside one another, so that we could chat easier without having to talk across our guys.

Rocky and I seated ourselves on the cushion beside them, although the manner in which we sat was much more formal and not quite as familiar and relaxed as Jem & Rio appeared to be. Rocky gently put his arm around me, holding my waist, I think it was his way of trying to give me a little comforting support. I on the other hand sat there rather stiffly with my hands neatly placed in my lap, holding them together in the hopes that it would help prevent me from fidgeting with my dress, as I was so prone to do when things felt a little awkward.

I was still worried about saying something daft in front of everyone and so sat there saying nothing. I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed, and had almost tuned out of the general small talk/chit chat that was going on around me, when I suddenly heard Rio directing a comment my way.

“Well, you’re looking much brighter than yesterday, that’s for sure” he then turned to his wife saying “she was white as a sheet after it happened”.

I was suddenly remembering the horrible events from yesterday again, a little gasp of panic came over me inside as I recalled how trapped and scared I had felt at the time. I guess it was natural for them to have brought it up, but it shook me up inside to the point where I think I would have felt more comfortable going back to the teasing about mine & Rocky’s relationship part.

Jem asked how I was feeling about it all now ? I couldn’t quite make eye contact with any of them as I quietly looked down.

“It still feels a bit scary when I think about it” I mumbled “but its over now, so I guess I should be fine”.

No one said a word and I could feel Rocky holding my waist with more strength as he gently almost stroked my side with compassion. I couldn’t tell if maybe he was angry or something, but my comment did seem to have an effect on him which was in no way intentional. And still not a word from anyone !

Then, just as I was starting to wonder what on earth I could possibly say, or do next, to break this uncomfortable silence that I had created, Rocky leaned over, taking my hand gently in his. As I looked up at him, his eyes were so full of tender loving warmth, he smiled and said “I will never let anyone hurt you Ella, you know that right ?”.

Awww … I did know that he truly meant it, after all, he had come to my rescue yesterday and if I think about it, I dread to consider where things may have led to had he not arrived when he did ? But that thought was starting to scare me again a little, so I decided to try and push it aside in my mind and focus of the fact that in this instance everything had worked out ok.

I looked at my guy appreciatively and then I suddenly realised that I had not thanked him for his actions in my rescue …oh how awful ! I couldn’t bear the thought of him thinking that I was ungrateful.

“I never did thank you properly yesterday, Rocky” I started ever so nervously, I hoped that at least this once I would be able to say something important without spouting endless streams of nonsense from my mouth. “If it wasn’t for you, I … I .. I” I had wanted to add that I really don’t know what might have happened, but somehow it seemed too scary and I could not form the words and instead said “.. you are my Hero !”.

Rocky held my hand tighter in his and smiled in an almost embarrassed way when I said the ‘Hero’ part, I wondered why ? To me he really was a Hero, coming to the aid of a damsel in distress like that, and it was so clear that his actions were not just to come to the rescue because it was me in trouble, he would have done the same thing for anyone, he’s just that sort of guy.

At that moment I remembered that Rocky and I were not alone, and not only that, I still owed the guy sitting just to the side of me a debt of gratitude aswell. I turned around instantly to face him saying “I also wanted to thank you too Rio. Thanks for being there too, and … and looking after me in my hour of need”.

He smiled rather humbly, simply replying “Anytime”.

Jem seemed to feel truly proud of the gallant behaviour of her husband on my behalf, she lovingly turned to him, gazed into his eyes saying “Awww, my Hero”. Rio tenderly held the hand of his wife as she continued “See I knew you were a big old softy really !”.

“Well if needs must” he replied, holding Jem in what appeared to be a rather passionate embrace, he then winked at her, adding in his usual playful tone “but don’t tell everyone”.

They giggled and looked so very deeply in love, I was quite taken with watching them and thought how they were truly a match made in heaven. Despite 26 years of marriage, they could still feel ‘that’ level of deep passion for each other, it was comforting to know that REAL true love does exist, and that it can stand the test of time.

Jem and Rio were so caught up in their own little moment that it was suddenly becoming rather obvious that they were about to kiss !!! … what’s the big deal, I hear you ask ? … well to me it was a big deal. I had never seen my two friends be so open with such a public display of affection before, and in all truth had never actually seen anyone kiss in real life, apart from in films etc of course, but they don’t count as that’s all make believe.

This was all very real though, and as much as I didn’t want to, I suddenly felt as if I was intruding on their privacy and so turned away just before their lips touched.

The only problem now was that with such a passionate display going on right behind me I came over a little flushed in the cheeks. I could not look Rocky in the face, as I started to wonder what he was thinking about at that moment ? … but in reality it wasn’t going to take a genius to guess. We were still VERY aware of the fact that we had not yet kissed, and somehow Jem and Rio’s moment of pure intimacy was highlighting that fact to both of us very prominently. There was a sense of the uncomfortable between us, like a huge neon sign in the sky, blinking away and pointing out to the whole world that our relationship was still in the pre-kissing phase.

I was starting to wonder how much more of this awkward tension between us I could handle, when Rocky gently asked.

“Ella … please look at me ?”.

As much as I hated the strain of the way things were feeling at that moment, I was a little worried that looking at him might actually make things worse, but somehow could not refuse and slowly lifted my head towards his. As our eyes met he softly smiled but I could tell he had something more serious on his mind, it was written all over his face !

“Look, I know what you must be thinking and feeling ..” he started, quite a bold statement in my opinion, as he was not exactly inside my head, but then I don’t think he had to be at that point. It was pretty apparent that we both knew exactly what the other was thinking, but somehow Rocky trying to vocalise it made things all the more ‘real’ and awkward. There was a little tense pause between us before he continued

“.. You see, I just wanted to say that I get it, I do, I understand, and I feel the same way, but Sweetheart … you have to remember, that’s them and this, this here is ‘us’. And we shouldn’t let the way others conduct their personal lives have any bearings on the way ‘we’ choose to take our relationship” I was quite captivated by the way in which Rocky was speaking to me when he finished by adding “Look, we’ll just take things as they come, in their own time, when ‘we’re’ ready … ok ?”.

I could not believe how Rocky had managed that whole little chat without even mentioning, out loud that is, that we had not kissed. I was rather impressed as to be quite frank, I think my face would have turned a rather shocking shade of scarlet had the word ‘kiss’ actually left his lips ! But apart from that I was almost in awe of the mature and thought out way in which he saw things and managed to convey them to me without causing further distress. I felt a touch silly and a little child-like for how I had reacted now.

“OK, OK you two” blurted Rocky in the direction of Jem & Rio, I think at this point we both had the feeling that we were in need of a drastic subject change to clear our heads form all these kissing thoughts. “Get a room will ya !?” he continued playfully, signalling them in case they had, in fact, got so caught up in each other that they had forgotten we were still sitting here.

As they glanced over at us they laughed with an ever so slight, almost undetectable look of embarrassment on their faces, as the realisation hit that perhaps they had taken things slightly too far. I was quite intrigued to see that even a couple who have been together for as long as these two, could still end up in little awkward situations. That made me feel a little better about feeling shy myself, perhaps it’s something everyone feels at some point or another when your overwhelming emotions create that occasional lapse in judgement ?

Feeling the need to drawer the attention back away from their actions, Jem commented on the fact that she and Rio were so glad that they now had another couple to hang out with. I guess it must have been quite strange for them being the only pair in a group of singles, but as the four of us chatted I did start to think how that might end up changing the dynamics of the whole group now that Rocky and I were an item. I mean now we had two couples, and three singles in our little friendly unit, would that make Calamity and the others feel awkward around us ?

Thinking about it, with Calam probably not, she was far too grounded, nothing ever phased that doll. Millie was so excitable about everything that I doubt she would put enough thought into the situation to even consider that anything might be different. But Jackson, he was the one I wondered the most about, still so cut up inside about his lost love, how would he feel about having a blossoming romance under his nose ? … Well it’s not like I was going to end things with Rocky for that, but I had to try and remember that we would have to be considerate in our behaviour when we were eventually around him together.

Jem put her arm around me as we all talked more, I relaxed and felt so much more comfortable, the four of us had never been closer. Rocky and Rio were already as good as brothers, and with Jem being one of my best friends everything seemed right and clicked into place. It was as though we were in fact family, you could almost feel the growing close bond and connection between us all, it was such a wonderful sensation, to actually belong … There was just one small niggle in the back of my mind though, what if things between Rocky and I did not work out ? Would our friendships and connection ever be able to withstand such a split if it occurred ? …. I tried to sweep it aside as I really did not want to jinx my new relationship, and could not possibly entertain the notion that anything could ‘really’ ever come between Rocky and I … could it ?