Ella - The World According To A Disney Doll

Chapter 21 - "Bitter Sweet Symphony" - 24th September 2012.

Whilst I'm thrilled at the opportunity to see my sweet fella again, the apparent consequences of Friday's escapades become a little upsetting all the same ... And thats not the ONLY thing to leave a bitter taste in my little plastic mouth today either ! ...

You can find the FULL story on my facebook blog here ... https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.151107041710671.35163.150797015075007&type=3

You can check out the music slideshow to this chapter on Youtube here ... http://youtu.be/KofCRChayWs

Chapter 21 - "Bitter Sweet Symphony".

I couldn’t help but smile, this scene was so reminiscent of the day Rocky had first asked me out, just a few weeks ago. As I approached the kitchen I saw him lying under one of the cars, fiddling with a panel underneath, but this time something was different, I could hear he was singing !?! Now, Rocky always listens to music when he works on the cars, generally some kind of retro Def Leppard, Guns N Roses, Bryan Adams rock type stuff. But this time he was singing along to ‘Always’ by Bon Jovi, I had never heard him sing before and found it rather surprising, I started to wonder if he had just felt like a singsong out of the blue? or if perhaps it was ‘that’ particular song which had touched something in him, bringing out this unusual behaviour?

“I can’t sing a love song, like the way it’s meant to be. Well, I guess I’m not that good anymore. But baby, that just meee ... And I will love you, baby, Allllwaays …”

A little blush came across my face at the words he was belting out, and I wondered if he was thinking about me ? His voice was actually rather good, it was deep and masculine, and had that scratchy/rough tone to it that suited rock songs so very well, and whilst it obviously couldn’t quite match the finesse of Bon Jovi’s, still sounded ever so sexy as he continued on happily, oblivious to the fact I was standing there.

 I probably should have made my presence known sooner, but in all honesty, I was so very captivated by Rocky singing such a passionate love song that I didn’t really want to disturb him at that moment. I suddenly felt all dreamy about it, and pictured him actually serenading me, and I couldn’t help but sigh longingly.

However as I got closer and realised that he might actually notice me any second, I decided that it probably wasn’t really fair of me to be spying on him like that. Such a shame really as I would have loved to have heard him finish the song !

“Hello Rocky” I said tentatively leaning over, waving a little to get his attention.

“Ella !?” he gasped, his eyes suddenly widening in shock, as he sat up a little to face me, he looked a touch embarrassed “Sweetheart, … how long have you been there ?”

“Long enough” I replied smiling at him sweetly. He looked so adorably uncomfortable at the thought that I had been there listening to him all this time. It made me wonder if I would have reacted the same way had Rocky caught me unaware when I had been belting the ‘Phantom of the Opera’ song at the top of my voice, just last week ? .. probably, well actually I think we all know I would have undoubtedly reacted much worse than this.

As much as it would have been so very fun to have teased him some more, I decided it would be far too mean to prolong his agony, so changed the subject asking “So what you up to then ?”, he looked at me a little sheepishly and I wondered if he thought I was still referring to the singing so I decided to be a little clearer “with Rio’s van, what’s wrong with it ?”

“Oh, that” I could see the relief wash over his face and in his voice when he cleared his throat as he spoke “I was just finishing changing the battery, he’s been having trouble with the horn, and you know how he likes to play with that when he drives” Rocky chuckled finally starting to sound like himself again.

When he stood up I could see all the embarrassment had instantly drained away from him, that quickly, he seemed totally normal again. I wish I could recover from my little ‘Oops’ moments so easily, usually I would spend hours torturing myself and wishing for the ground to just swallow me up whole. But then Rocky is much more sensible and mature than I am, so I guess things like this don’t play on his mind in the same way.

As he walked over to me, he looked me up and down smiling, and playfully said “So are we dressing to match now then ?”

At first I was a little confused, wondering what he was on about ? But then I glanced at his work overalls and then down at my dress, I suddenly noticed we both had bear shoulders and were wearing red ! … oh dear ! This looked a little too ‘matchy matchy’ for my liking, and just like that, I was the one who was now feeling embarrassed and silly.

Rocky had obviously not intended the comment as anything of worry, he was just being his usual light-hearted self. But when he realised I was a little concerned by his statement he gently lifted my chin and stroked the side of my face saying

“My Darling, you look absolutely beautiful”.

I smiled, blushing slightly at the sincerity in his eyes and face as he spoke to me, but still felt a little awkward about our ‘His’ and ’Hers’ style wardrobe.

I was about to turn around and leave so I could change into something else, but before I could say anything, and before I had hardly even started to move away, Rocky grabbed me affectionately declaring “Oh no you don’t !!”

“What ?” I asked, feeling a touch confused by his actions.

He held me close, looked a little sly and said “I know what you were up to there Missy” I could not help but giggle a little that he had called me “Missy”, his eyes were now sparkling with so much intrigue “You were about to go and change, weren’t you ?”

“I err …well I …. yes” I replied meekly, feeling a little surprised that I had been found out. “How did you know?”

Rocky laughed at the tone of my reply, and looked like the ‘cat that had got the cream’ because he had caught me out so easily.

“Sweetheart I think I know you well enough by now” he said, smiling as though he was still rather pleased with himself. “But I have been hoping to see this dress on you again, so I’m not going to let you run away in it now am I ?”

“Maybe I could wear it tomorrow ?” I tentatively asked, hoping that he would be convinced.

“Ella, you look stunning just as you are now. But if you are that bothered, how about I go and change instead ?” he had a look of mischief about him as he spoke, so I couldn’t quite tell what he was up to? But I did appreciate his offer all the same, even if I wasn’t really at all practical.

“But you can’t, you might get your other clothes dirty and ruined working on the cars!” I protested.

Rocky then gave me such a sneaky look as he replied “Oh well in that case, I’m glad we got that all settled now, we’ll both stay as we are then !”

I rolled my eyes and giggled a bit, I knew that I had walked myself right into that one ! … and even though I felt a little silly with us dressed so similarly, if he really liked it that much, I guess it wouldn’t hurt just this once.

Now that we had got that all sorted, I noticed the scooter upside down on the floor in front of me, still looking a little strange from the attack of my clumsiness that had taken place last Friday.

“Are the handlebars supposed to be pointing in a different direction to the wheel ?” I asked worriedly, already knowing what the answer was going to be.

“Oh don’t worry about that” replied Rocky trying to sound reassuring “It’s just a little twisted, nothing that I can’t fix”.

I felt quite bad that my lack of co-ordination had caused such damage and extra work for him, and even though he didn’t seem bothered I still felt the need to apologise.

“Rocky, I’m so sorry” I said hoping that he could hear the sincere regret in my voice “I had no idea that I had actually damaged it, you should have told me! … I will try to be more careful in future, really I will …” I could tell this was starting to turn into another of my uncontrollable babbling moments and, I think, so could Rocky.

Knowing that if he didn’t do something soon, then I would most likely, any second descend into an incoherent gibbering state, Rocky held me close again in his arms.

“Honestly my Darling, its nothing to worry about. I’m not upset, it was an accident, it’s wasn’t your fault … trust me the bike has been through worse than that before now” his voice sounded so soothing and comforting as he spoke that I did start to believe him.

I smiled a little, but still don’t think he quite believed I was ok yet, and so he finished off by softly kissing my cheek saying “Sweetheart if you are that worried about it you can help me fix it if you like, and then you will see for yourself its nothing bad, ok ?”.

It was a lovely tender moment between us, not quite the passion and fireworks of when we had kissed before, but this seemed to have more sincere feelings of love and affection about it. Plus I adored the fact that whilst Rocky looked so rough and masculine at the moment, dressed as he was, he was actually behaving so very sweetly and loving, it was a rather attractive contrast of the rough and the smooth that I found so very charming, and I came over a little swoony inside.

Seeing that he was actually starting to get somewhere, Rocky then came over a little mischievous in his kissing of my cheek. I began to smile again and giggle as the sensation was very ticklish, which somehow made him continue even more as I laughed.

“Feeling better now ?” he asked lovingly, when he thought my mood had suitably improved enough and so finally let my face alone.

By now I had a big grin come over me, and just nodded happily at him in response, I could still almost feel the after effects of the tickles where his kisses had been on my cheek, and couldn’t help but break out in giggles every time I thought about it again.

With everything now all happy again, we decided it was time to crack on, we were just about to have a look at fixing the scooter when we heard something that sounded like a voice coming from in the distance behind us. I sometimes forget that in Holly’s house there are display cabinets and shelves full of dolls and stuffed animals everywhere, so no matter where you are, you are never ‘really’ alone, there is always someone that could be watching you …

I felt a little uncomfortable at first at the thought that someone may have just witnessed the little affectionate moment which had just taken place between Rocky and I. But on reflection, what did it really matter anyway ? I am sure this is not the first, and won’t be the last, time that a doll has been watching from the sidelines quietly during the ups and downs of my life so far.

When I looked behind to try and see who it was, I noticed that one of the doors was open on the display cabinet and two dolls were on the floor outside. It wasn’t at all like the display dolls to leave their spots like that, so it must have been Holly ? Perhaps she had pulled them out for some re-arranging or something, but had got called away before she had finished ? Who knows ? But whatever the reason there were now two dolls left on the floor having a very rare taste of a few moments of freedom.

When I looked closer however, I realised that it was not just any two display dolls, it was my sisters !!

Rocky looked at me inquisitively asking “Someone you know ?”.

“Errr .. yes .. errr” I replied, feeling somewhat awkward at these strange turn of events. “… they are, well, sort of … my sisters”.

“Sisters ?!” he said ever so enthusiastically “that’s great, shall we go over and say hello then ?”. I was truly moved by the fact that he was so interested in meeting my Disney doll family members, but wasn’t really quite sure if I was ready for all that just yet.

“Well errr … I … you see …” Oh dear I was at it again, will I ever manage to finish a whole sentence ?!

Rocky’s eyes had an ever so slight look of sadness in them as he replied, sounding a little disappointed “You can go over without me if it would make you feel more comfortable … I don’t mind, honestly”.

It was so very plain that he did, in fact, mind and it was bothering him a lot, he was just far too nice to have said so … It was then that I wondered if he was thinking my hesitance had something to do with him, he didn’t think I was ashamed of him or something did he ? Oh no, why can I never see these things coming before hand !?!

“Oh Rocky, it’s not that at all” I answered lovingly, feeling the desperate need to try and reassure him of my true unwavering devotion “I would love to introduce you to my family, really I would. Its just … just …” I was trying to find the words in my head, to try and express things in a nice eloquent ladylike manner, but was getting so flustered that in the end I gave up and said rather bluntly “.. my sister is horrid !!”.

Rocky burst out laughing at my overly honest statement, he looked so relieved that my reluctance was in no way a reflection on him. But I could tell he was not going to drop the subject that easily.

“My Darling, I’m sure she isn’t ‘that’ bad.” He was still chuckling a little about my ‘straight to the point’ answer from before, as he spoke “Besides I thought you said she had given you all those pretty dresses?”.

“That was Cinderella, I don’t mean her, she’s lovely” I replied sharply, but then felt a little timid and pouty as I went on “It’s the other one, Cin, she was awfully stuck up and snooty when I met her before”.

Rocky still seemed a little amused, he sighed and looked at me in an ‘Oh Ella ! what am I going to do with you ?’ sort of way. I could tell he was about to come out with some big speech to try and sway me, he just had that look about him, I had seen it many times before during our little chats.

“I know you don’t want to” he said, almost laughing at my slightly sulky behaviour “But Sweetheart, you may regret it in time if you don’t at least give it a go, they are ‘family’ after all, give them a chance … and its not fair to punish both of them for the actions of one”.

I hated the fact that once again he was right, he always had an answer for everything, and nothing ever seemed to ‘really’ faze or bother him. It always made me feel so child like, as though I was overreacting to every situation. I remember thinking at the time that, I hoped one day I would be there to see him a little thrown by something, anything, just so that I would not feel like the only one who always handles every situation in the wrong way.

Oh god, what am I doing !!?? I am taking my mental frustrations about my sister out on Rocky, for no reason at all! He hasn’t done anything wrong, has been nothing but loving and supportive in every way towards me, and this is how I repay him! Even though he, thank god, was not inside my head to have heard all what was going on, I still felt very ashamed of myself and as though I had betrayed him in some way. As I stood there watching his eyes looking as me so warm and sincere, I knew he deserved so much better than the way I had just treated him … oh how awful !

Whilst all the turmoil and confusion was going on in my head, of which Rocky hadn’t a clue, I think he started to feel perhaps some more ‘direct’ persuasion was needed and so he took my hand and started to lead me over in the direction of the display cabinet, where my sisters were waiting! Even though I did not want to, I felt that, like he said, I had to give it ago, and saw this as hopefully a first step at redeeming myself for my earlier behaviour.

So I reluctantly went with him to tackle the dreaded ‘Meet the Family’ stage of our relationship … wish me luck !!

I held Rocky’s hand ever to tightly as we neared where my sisters were standing, I was so glad I had him there with me for support, for some reason there was an oddly worried feeling about this meeting in the pit of my stomach …

“Ella! My word, it is you” exclaimed Cinderella excitedly as we approached, her voice was so sweet and almost Motherly, just as I had remembered it from all that time ago “I hardly recognised you my dear, that dress is simply lovely”.

I was ever so pleased by the warm greeting I had received from my big sister, but then I would have expected nothing less from her. In the brief time we had met before she seemed such a gracious doll, full of all the regal poise and ladylike sensibilities that I lacked … she was in every way, a Princess !

It was clear from the start though that whilst she was overjoyed at seeing me, she was bursting with curiosity about the guy I had brought along with me to meet them. She kept giving little glances in his direction as she spoke to me.

“So who’s this then ?” she enquired rather politely, looking straight at Rocky with a lovely smile ever present on her face.

“Oh sorry” I replied sheepishly, feeling like an idiot that had forgotten her manners “this is Rocky, he’s my … he’s … well, he’s my …” all of a sudden I realised that I had not got a clue what to call Rocky ? He was hardly a boy at 29 years old, so boyfriend just sounded wrong, and there are no such words as Manfriend or Guyfriend. I couldn’t call him a ‘friend’ as that would just sound hurtful as he was much more than ‘just a friend’ to me. And we hadn’t quite got serious enough in our relationship for him to be a fiancé or husband yet, so what on earth could I call him ? … Lover ? ooh no I could never, just the thought of saying that out loud was making me blush. Ooh I know he’s a Ken doll! No no no Ella, you cant possibly introduce him by saying ‘this is Rocky he’s my Ken doll’ that sounds ridiculous … what on earth am I thinking ?? Oh god what a moment to get stumped for words, why did I not think this through properly beforehand !!?

By now there had been a fairly long pause of silence where everyone was standing patiently, waiting for me to try and finish what I was saying, and somehow I just had a feeling that Rocky knew exactly what was going on inside my head. He stood there almost biting his lip as he glanced over at me, trying ever so hard to keep a straight face as I floundered.

As she is ever the genteel lady though, upon the realisation that I may never actually be able to finish the sentence from where I had started my introduction, Cinderella promptly stepped forward and extended her hand to my dearest love saying “It’s a pleasure to meet you Rocky, I’m Cinderella, Ella’s older sister”.

Rocky shook her hand appreciatively. I think he was genuinely grateful to her for helping me out of this sticky situation, as it had obviously been causing me, and everyone else, a little confusion and discomfort.

“The pleasure is all mine, your highness” he replied a little cheekily, continuing with “I can see where Ella gets her looks from, you Cinderella dolls are simply gorgeous”, at first I was a little worried how Cinderella might take Rocky’s playful fun side ? But she smiled humorously at his comment, in a way that implied she found him rather charming … phew !!

In case there is any confusion here, in Rocky’s last comment. I wanted to point out that us dolls don’t have mothers, or parents to inherit our physical features from, so we generally get some of our attributes from the previous wave of released doll. So being a newer version of a Disney Store Cinderella doll does actually mean that I have inherited some of my looks from my older sister.

Right so where was I ? … oh yes … Now that we had gotten the greeting with my lovely sister over, I was painfully aware that I still had the one I had been dreading to come, Cin! Rocky approached her, full of smiles and eager to shake the hand of my twin, but she barely touched him before rather abruptly pulling her hand away, simply saying in a rather stuck up manner “Charmed, I’m sure”.

She was blatantly looking down her nose at him, acting as though she was above us all with her high and mighty demeanour. I was so ashamed, to have my own twin sister behave like this to my dearest was almost unbearable to watch. This is exactly the reason why I had not wanted to bring Rocky over here, I knew that if she considered herself above me, then she was never going to be accepting of him.

I watched as Rocky kept his cool gentlemanly composure, and appeared unfazed by Cin’s reaction to him. I was so in awe of how well he behaved as he stood there and took every snooty remark, and degrading look that she gave him, without even flinching for a second.

“So what sort of doll are you then ? … you are ‘obviously’ not a Prince, or anything Disney” she asked looking him up and down in almost disgust.

“I’m a Ken doll” replied Rocky, smiling away still not letting her get under his skin.

She grinned at him in an almost condescending way at his answer, responding with “Oh so you’re a Barbie doll ‘accessory’ then … how quaint”.

I could not believe this !! She was being so obnoxious, and purposefully antagonistic, if I was like you humans, and had blood, it would have started to boil after that statement. How dare she call my Rocky an accessory, who does she think she is ??!!

Rocky was so unbelievable at holding his own up against my evil twin though and replied rather dryly with “I guess you could say that, yes”.

At this point, I am not sure if it was that she couldn’t stand the fact he wasn’t the least bit bothered about her comments, but she now appeared to feel the need to up her attempts to try and demean him even further.

“He looks a little, how shall we say … used ! … So what are you then, scruffy workman Ken ?” she started laughing at her own comment whilst looking at what Rocky was wearing in utter disdain and contempt.

I had had just about as much of her as I could take at this point, so before Rocky even had a chance to respond, I hot headedly jumped in to defend my guy from this sinister witch.

“Actually Rocky’s a Crystal Ken doll, he was the very first Ken that Holly ever owned, and has been with her his whole life, for the last 29 years” I could tell I was coming over rather crossly at this point, but was still unable to stop myself from continuing “He is warm, and loving, kind, and treasured by all of us who have the privilege to know him … and he’s obviously a darn sight more polite and civil than you can manage to muster !!”.

Everyone looked a little shocked by my outburst, and for a brief second there was silence as no one said a word. It was then that Cin just looked me up and down, like I was some kind of meaningless ugly pond scum, and full of patronising spite simply said “I’m sure he’s perfect for you dear, you two look so … well matched”. I was so overwhelmed by what she had just said that I couldn’t speak, my mouth just gaped in horror and disbelief !

Seeing how uncomfortable everyone was now feeling, Cinderella suddenly tried to defuse things by adding “I’m sure Cin didn’t mean anything by that Ella” but I think even she knew there was no way to cover up for that sort of shockingly bad behaviour.

At this point Rocky could see how upset and flustered I had become, he turned to me with a soothing look on his face “Sweetheart its ok, don’t worry about it, calm down” I wondered how on earth he could be so tolerant of such an appalling display of bad manners, especially when it was all directed at him, when he added “Look I know what I am, and I’m fine with that … It’s true, I’m not a Prince, I’m not a Disney doll, and I’m not new or even remotely in display condition … but I’m fine with that, if other people don’t like that, its their problem, not mine … ok?”.

All this time Cinderella had been watching us closely, at how we interacted with one another, she appeared so impressed by Rocky’s mature, rational and civilised behaviour, and the ease in which he had managed to calm me down from my emotional state. She looked over at us lovingly saying “I truly think you two make a wonderful couple”.

With almost perfect timing, it was then that we all heard a noise that sounded as though Holly may be on her way back to finish sorting out the display, it was just the opportunity to be able to leave … thank god !

Cinderella gave both Rocky and I a hug insisting that we would have to come and visit her again at some point, it felt so nice to know that she was willing to accept me, and my life choices, as they are, without question or judgement. As for Cin, even though she was blatantly so nasty and disapproving, I decided to not sink to her level again. As we parted I looked over at her smiling and said “Goodbye Cin, it was an experience”. I wanted to add that it was one of the worst of my life !! .. but did not want to let her feel as though she had got to me, bullies always seem to find far too much joy seeing the misery they have caused in their victims, and I was not going to give her that satisfaction !

As we walked away and Cinderella waved to us so warmly, I felt a little guilty that secretly I hoped it would be a while before I saw them again. But then maybe Holly would find somewhere else to display my lovely big sister, away from my awful twin ? That way, I would actually have the chance to visit her often, without having to endure all of Cin’s intolerable displeasure and cruelty … oh well, I guess I can dream cant I ?!

Rocky and I didn’t really speak on the walk back over to the kitchen, almost as though there was a feeling of shell shock from it all between us. It was only when we were nearly back at the cars again when he stopped and looked at me inquisitively saying “Come on then, out with it ?”.

I looked at him a little blankly, wondering what he thought I was supposed be coming out with ?

He raised one eyebrow in an ‘I’m not convinced’ sort of way adding “Sweetheart I know you, I know that you are going to burst any moment if you don’t get to have your little rant and vent about what just went down”.

I wanted to behave all calm, cool, rational and unaffected just like Rocky and Cinderella had been, I wanted to show that I was ladylike and composed even in the aftermath of this ordeal. I really, really wanted to … but somehow I think we all know, in reality, I was never going to manage that !

“Oh Rocky” I blurted, my eyes starting to fill with tears “I’m, so, so soooo very sorry about that, not only for the shocking display by my sister, but that I let her get to me like that. I know I shouldn’t have retaliated like that, it’s just what she wanted. But the thing is … is ..” I was suddenly feeling so overwhelmed, a single teardrop gently rolled down my cheek as I went on “I couldn’t just stand there an let her talk to you like that, I just couldn’t … Its like she doesn’t seem to know how truly wonderful you really are, and … and …” Oh god, I had no idea where I was going with this, or what I was trying to say so just stopped mid tracks, not having a clue what to say next … there were just no more words ….

Rocky gently wiped the tear from my cheek and rested my head on his shoulder in a way that felt so comfortable and familiar, as he responded softly saying “My Darling, that’s exactly the point, she doesn’t know me at all, so what does it really matter what she thinks of me ?” I could sort of see the point he was trying to make, then he continued, sounding ever so slightly cheeky with “and when you think about it, ‘you’ didn’t exactly think I was wonderful when you first met me, did you ?”.

I was sort of taken aback by that last statement, even if it was true, I didn’t want to admit to myself, or him that I had been so blind back then. I worriedly fumbled around a little for something to say “Bu .. I ..oh”, as you can see, as usual I wasn’t making any sense in what I did manage to get out either.

Rocky looked at me lovingly, he could see I was a little distressed by his last comment “Sweetheart I was teasing, don’t worry about it, not everyone falls head over heels at first sight you know, I understand that … all that matters to me is how you feel about me now”.

I held onto him tightly, hoping he would somehow see that as a sign of how deeply I cared for him now. I know I probably should have told him, right there in that very moment, how much he meant to me, but somehow I couldn’t quite find any words that had enough power or feeling to express how I truly felt about him in my heart … so I just continued to hold him close in my arms.

Trying to lighten the mood again Rocky looked at me rather mischievously and declared “You were right about one thing though”.

“Oh ?” I enquired, wondering what on earth I could have possibly been right about in all of this.

He smiled at me so impishly, with his voice full of fun and laughter and simply replied “She is horrid !”

We both got a giggle out of that one !!

I started to reflect on todays events, how they had been such a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and it was only then that I finally realised something … unlike all the Disney fairy stories I had seen, where the couple rides off into the sunset to live happily ever after. In REAL life the sun comes up the next morning, with a new set of challenges to face, and obstacles to overcome !

It started me wondering what else fate has in store for Rocky & I next ? … I guess I will have to wait and see, as in the end only time will tell what the future holds.