Ella - The World According To A Disney Doll

Chapter 7 - "Hung Up" - 4th September 2012.

Whilst unintentionally spying on Jackson I start to discover more about the extent of the poor chap's heartbreak and loss ...

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Chapter 7 - "Hung Up".

It wasn't that I was intending to spy, but whilst I was in the wardrobe today, sorting out a few of my dresses quietly, I noticed Jackson creep into the room. I think he thought he was alone and must not have seen me in the corner, but he seemed to be going somewhere with a purpose.

I know that they say curiosity killed the cat, but I wasn't a cat, and it wasn't that I am a nosey sort of doll, I just really wanted to know what he was up to as his body language seemed so shifty and suspicious.

I couldn't help myself I just stood there staring at him as he edged his way along the shoe box on the floor. He kept himself very close to the box so it was clear that whatever he was up to he did not want who or whatever it was around the corner to see him.

He then stopped at the corner obviously gazing at the object of the sneaky mission. What is he up to ?

I dont know if it was that I made a noise of that he just felt my presence watching him but all of a sudden he looked around straight at me. I am really not sure who was more startled me or him, but I could instantly tell that he was furious that I had been spying on him.

In the brief time that I had known him, Jackson had always seemed such a bland, almost lifeless doll that I was rather shocked to see this kind of sudden emotional response from him.

He looked at me with such disappointment as he walked back in my direction, I felt sooo guilty that I could not even look him in the eye. As he came past me he gave me a look that cut so deep as he softly but poignantly said

"Seen enough now have we?"

I could tell by the tone of his voice that he felt betrayed by my behaviour and I was a little shocked by his sarcastic tone. I felt awful.

I know I shouldn't have done it, but I had to know, I had to know what was going on ? and what it was that had caused this reaction from Jackson if I ever had a hope of making it up to him.

As I reached the end of the shoe box where he had been standing just a few moment before, I looked up and suddenly things started to become a little more clear when I saw who was standing there on top of a cupboard ...

It was a Rock Star Barbie, and she looked just like Stella, the doll in the picture that I had seen Jackson holding with such sorrow the other day.

But this can't be the same doll that he had been in love with all those years ago? Jem had told me that she was badly broken beyond any kind of repair. So who was this ?

I suddenly felt a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I had caused extra pain for him in this situation so i decided to chase after Jackson so that I could apologise.

I didn't have to look far as he was in the 2nd half of the wardrobe sitting on a chair quietly staring off into space. I had to talk to him, I couldn't just leave him up there on his own in his heartbreak.

I climbed up and sat next to him, but he just continued to look in the opposite direction and would not even acknowledge my presence.

"I take it that isn't Stella?" I started, hoping that I might be able to encourage him into talking. But nothing, he didn't even move one little bit.

"She looks just like her though ... from the ... errrr .... picture that I have seen" still no response from him. I was starting to feel even more uncomfortable than I had done when he caught me watching him.

I seemed to be making no progress at all and was afraid that I may infact be making things worse.

This conversation was going nowhere so I decided on a much more gentle approach

"Look, I dont pretend to know exactly how you are feeling, or what you are going through" I started "I have never been in Love, so cant even begin to imagine the pain of losing someone that I care about that much"

The response wasn't much but I was getting somewhere as he was now looking straight ahead instead of away from me, which was a massive step forward considering the way this whole one sided conversation had gone so far.

"I guess its tough seeing someone who looks just like Stella ... but isn't really her" I continued "But I can understand why you go and look at her sometimes ... sometimes its nice to remember and seeing her .."

"Rochelle, Her names Rochelle" he mumbled and interrupted. Oh my word he spoke, I had actually had an answer from him.

"OK, well seeing Rochelle sometimes, probably makes you feel a little bit like, you are sort of, almost, looking at Stella ... but at the same time it hurts knowing that in reality she is not and never will be YOUR Stella" I was clutching at straws and starting to wonder if I was making any sense.

"The point is I do understand, and I am sooo terribly sorry for spying on you".

He was such a quiet, shy guy, with a deep ocean of feelings bottled up inside, my heart went out to him as I realised that it was not my place to get him to talk if he didn't feel ready. So I just touched his hand and finished with

"You dont have to say anything, you know, we'll just sit here quietly, but I just wanted to know that I am here for you"

He looked at me with genuine affection and relief at my statement, I guess he has probably had one too many nosey dolls trying to pry into his feelings over the years that it was probably a great weight off his shoulders that I had decided not to try the same pushy tactics on him.

I will never forget how sad his eyes looked as we sat there in silence, and even though neither of us said a word I could somehow tell that he appreciated my presence there during his time of need.